um…okay…
So just got back from my gynecologist to discuss taking Metformin (or as DH calls it “metrosexual”) for my PCOS. 
Conversation went like this:
DrT: How are you?
Me: Good. You?
DrT: Good. So what can I do for you?
Me: Well, I’ve been going to FCI and they’ve diagnosed me with PCOS for the past 2 years. I’ve read and heard from people that Metformin is commonly prescribed for PCOS so I wanted to talk to you about possibly going on that.
DrT: Sure, I can do that for you.
Yup…it was that painless! Actually, she was pretty surprised and shocked that my fertility clinic never prescribed Metformin to me after the PCOS diagnosis. Needless to say, I have been shocked and surprised by that as well! She also decided since I was over due for my pap and check up to do that today too. Usually I have some time to mentally prepare for that, but all went fine.
Okay, but here’s the kicker – she gave me Clomid too!! What the…what do I do with that?? I’ve read putting Met and Clo together often work better than either one on their own, but I don’t really know what to do with Clomid. We skipped that step with the RE because we only had so much money to work with and we wanted to jump straight to IUI since it had a better chance of working (which turned out to be true on the 1st try, it just didn’t last).
So…Clomid vets, HELP!!! All I know is that I’m supposed to take it on days 2-5 of my cycle. She told me to start the Metformin right away. I’m not going to have any monitoring for this, as her clinic is not set up for that. She did give me a referral to an endocrinologist, but I’m pretty sure insurance wouldn’t cover that, so I can’t really go. I’m going to turn to good ‘ole Dr. Google and WebMD, but any insight and help I could get from all of you would be great too.
Can I just take the drugs and then BBT and use OPK’s and go from that? Should I do anything else? I’m already working out 3x’s a week. I really need to start eating better, so that’s on the schedule too, but anything else? Pre-Seed lubricant? I’ve heard that supposed to help…I know with Clomid it can dry up your cervical mucus, so I should probably use something to help. According to DH, we’ll just have to, as he so elegantly put it “boink” every night (yeah, he’s at the bar with some friends right now…).
fingers crossed…
I head to the doctor in about 20 minutes to talk about possibly getting on Metformin. Any last minute advice would be appreciated! Wish me luck!
I’ll be sure to post after I get back about what happened.
Booohalloween and puppies…
My appointment with the gynecologist about Metformin is tomorrow. I can’t wait. I’m hoping that it goes well. Since I’m in a waiting time though, I really have nothing to report…so I thought I’d share some Halloween pictures!
The hubby and I in our Halloween costumes. 100 points to anyone who can guess who we are!
(If you don’t know, the DH is Captain Hammer for Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-Long Blog and I’m Helena Ravenclaw. I’m a huge Harry Potter nerd, and also a Joss Whedon nerd, so very happy hubby has followed along with that one! I made the dress myself!
I spent Halloween night at a friends house, and was gone most of the next day. When I got home, I was exhausted so I laid down on the couch. My dog Malcolm must have REALLY missed me because he came up and squished my face and gave me lots of puppy kisses (Mal is not a bit kissy dog, so it is a rare treat to get one from him)! He laid on my like this with his head on my face for about 10 minutes.
My other puppy, Inara, missed me too – she curled up right next to me on the couch. If you look in the background you can see Malcolm staring at me, too!
Well…hopefully I’ll have something to report tomorrow afternoon. Wish me luck!
awards…
Seems I’ve been nominated for some awards! Wow – yay! So I’m going to take some time today to post them and nominate some more people, as I won’t really have much to report until Thursday afternoon…so here we go!
This award is from Still Waiting For My Sunshine – Thank you!!! I’ve just recently found her blog, but I’m glad I did. It helps to be able to read about people going through the same crap that I am, and for the same reasons. Us PCOS girls have got to stick together! Thank you so much and I love ya!
The rules for this award are simple. I LOVE YOU=8 letters which gives you 8 rules :
1-Thank the person who nominated you for this award and write a little bit about why you love them.
2-Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3-Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4-Nominate no more than 17 people (why 17?) who you love or you think could use some love.
5-Write one word (you can only use a word once) about what you love about their blog.
6-You cannot nominate someone who has already been nominated-the love has to spread to all.
7-Post links to the 17 blogs you nominate.
8-Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they’ve been nominated.
So my awards go to:
1. SusQ -Best-Friend
2. Maybe Baby? -Honesty
3. Infertile Myrtle -Hope
4. The Big “IF” – Understanding
5. 2 of a Kind – supportive
6. Mommyland – Inspiring
7. IF Optimist – Cute
8. Fertility Chick – Fun
9. Birds and Squirrels – Informative
This award is from Infertile Myrtle – thanks so much!
Here are the rules:
1. You can only use one word!
2. Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers.
3. Alert them that you have given them this award!
4. Have Fun!
The Survey
1. Where is your cell phone? desk
2. Your hair? red
3. Your mother? interesting
4. Your father? strong
5. Your favorite food? chicken
6. Your dream last night? none
7. Your favorite drink? milk
8. Your dream/goal? baby
9. What room are you in? office
10. Your hobby? sewing
11. Your fear? alone
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy
13. Where were you last night? Abbey’s
14. Something that you aren’t? hopeless
15. Muffins? blueberry
16. Wish list item? baby
17. Where did you grow up? Minnesota
18. Last thing you did? drive
19. What are you wearing? brown
20. Your TV? nice
21. Your pets? dogs
22. Friends? awesome
23. Your life? good
24. Your mood? anxious
25. Missing someone? yes
26. Vehicle? corolla
27. Something you’re not wearing? gloves
28. Your favorite store? Target
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When was the last time you laughed? morning
31. Last time you cried? yesterday
32. Your best friend? awesome
33. One place that I go to over and over? home
34. One person who e-mails me regularly? Justin
35. Favorite place to eat? Sabai Dee
nominating these bloggers…
2. CeCe
3. Bottoms Off…
4. BlondeDawn
interesting news…
So in trying to get prepared for my meeting with the gynecologist next Thursday I called my nurse at FCI to get my PCOS diagnosis results faxed over so I could take them in to the appointment. She gathered together the info and explained it to me over the phone yesterday before she faxed it, which was nice. I now know that my PCOS diagnosis was not just a shot in the dark (they never properly explained it all to me until now, when I asked about it…guess that shows you really need to be an active participant in this whole process!!). I DEFINITELY have PCOS. I want to help any of you out there who may not be sure what that all entails, so this is what my nurse explained to me:
1) Antral Follicle count greater than 24 (mine for the past few checks were 40, 35, 27, 35)
2) Irregular Menstrual cycles (Yup, check…)
3) “Pearl Necklace” appearance to ovaries (this means there are small, pearl like bumps surrounding your ovaries)
4) High androgens (shown through physical appearance and blood tests)
5) LH to FSH ratios should be 1:1 (mine are not…one test was FSH 3.20 and LH 0.842)
So, now that I KNOW my diagnosis better, I feel better prepared to go into my appointment with test results, articles and determination at hand! I’m really not anticipating much of a fight, but I’m ready if I have to!
But that’s not the interesting news…after explaining it all to me she said she had a question for me. She wanted to know if we have ever considered IVF. I told her we are very open to it, but the cost is just too prohibitive. She then informed me that the clinic is doing a trial for PCOS patients to do IVF at a reduced cost and that she had spoken with the nurse in charge to get us into the trial if we want. I told her if it was very reduced we would definitely be interested. So, she faxed over my info and went off to talk to the nurse in charge of the trial.
About 15 min later she called back with the info. Normal IVF cycles at my clinic are $10,500 +meds ($1-2,000). The trial is cut in half: $5,500 +meds. Wow. I love my nurse. Not only did she think of us when she heard about this trial, but she spoke with the nurse in charge directly and she is waiting for our call to say if we would like to do it. I *heart* Jaime (my nurse). The only catch is that we need to get started before December. And that’s where the bummer part comes in.
The DH and I discussed it last night. While we would both love to jump on this opportunity (IVF will NEVER be this cheap again), we just won’t have $7,000 by December. If we had a bit more time to save up we could maybe have done it, but it just isn’t possible right now. I hate to give up this opportunity, especially since Jaime worked so hard to get us considered for the trial, but there you go. I’m upset we have to pass it up, but on the other hand I’m doing okay. If I didn’t have the Metformin option that we’re working on to fall back on I would have pressed a little harder to try and find a way to do the IVF, but we do have the Metformin “safety net” so at least I’m not completely out of options.
That being said, if any of you win the lottery in the next few weeks and want to donate $5,000 to me, I won’t say no!
my 2ww…
So, it’s not THE 2ww, but it is A 2ww…
I’m waiting for my appointment with my gynecologist next Thursday to discuss going on Metformin for my PCOS. I’m really antsy. They called today to tell me I either had to move my time up on my appointment or push it back until the following week. I REALLY didn’t want to push it back, but I have to leave work to get to the appointment so I wanted a later time – oh well. I’ll be going in around 2pm now instead of 3:30 pm. It’ll make the wait shorter, but I’ve already missed so much work because of all this crap…
Anyway, I don’t really have much new to report except that I’m going CRAZY sitting around waiting for this appointment. I really hope that she is willing to work with me on this, since it’s basically the only hope I have right now of ever having a child…we’ll see how it goes.
let’s get this party started…
Just called in to my gynecologist. Set up an appointment for November 5th for a consultation (I’m very happy she had an opening so soon, she’s usually pretty booked up). I’m intending to ask her to put me on Metformin. I’ve just recently discovered (as in, yesterday) that Metformin is a common treatment for women with PCOS. That would have been nice to know 3 YEARS AGO!! Not that I’m angry…it’s just that I’ve been going to a fertility clinic for almost 2 years now and this drug was never even MENTIONED to me! Forget the fact that it could have regulated my cycles, or had me ovulating on my own w/o shots, or even the fact that it seems every other woman diagnosed as PCOS has been prescribed Metformin…forget all that. What MOST upsets me is that this drug is also given to women with PCOS in their 1st trimester to guard against miscarriage. If I had been given this drug, if I had even KNOWN about this drug, my little Zippy may have been born this month, instead of dying in March. That’s what pisses me off the most!
Hopefully my OB/GYN will listen to me and agree that I should try Metformin. The hubby and I talked last night and seemed to agree that we could do the Metformin alone for a few months and if nothing happens naturally, try IUI on Metformin one more time at our fertility clinic. Either way, this is the first breath of hopeful air I’ve had all month and it feels good. Drowning in the darkness of depression is no fun. I much prefer the bobbing up and down in a sea of hopefulness – at least I’m not below water any more!
So – all you Metformin vets, I need your help! I’ve printed off the WebMD article that I linked to above, and also some articles that the blogger Birds and Squirrels linked to in her blog back in April (thanks again to Maybe Baby? for pointing that blog out). This is all I have right now, but if there is any info you think would be helpful in pleading my case to my doctor, I’d very much appreciate it. Even just your personal stories of using the drug and how it has helped you? I’d take any advice/help you could offer! Thanks!
okay, I’m here…
Hey all…I hope you’re still around. I’ve been taking a blogging break, but I’ve still been reading all of my IF blogs daily, sometimes more! I just needed a break from thinking about my own IF for a while.
So, here’s where I’m at. Our last IUI failed. That was the 3rd one after we lost Zippy in March. They say after 3 tries, it’s time to move on to something else. Not only was it our 3rd failed IUI after miscarriage, but I got the news of the BFN 2 days before my due date would have been for our baby. As you can imagine, that has launched me into a pretty spectacular funk. I’m still not out of it. I do my best to put on a happy face throughout the day, and it works, as long as I don’t for a second let my mind wander. My “happy face” mask has to extend also to my brain or it all come crashing down again. Even typing this post is difficult because I’m allowing myself to go “there” – you know, that place where all you can think about is your IF failures and the “what might have been”s. I’m there. I don’t want to be there.
I’m sick of this whole journey. I know it’s building character, and making me stronger, letting me know how much I can deal with and still survive, but if it’s all the same, I’ll give all that character building back if I can please have my baby. Thanks.
I don’t want to deal with this any more, but there is no way out. If I want a child I have to deal with this, and it just so isn’t fair. I’m surrounded by babies, but I can’t have my own and that’s all I want in the world.
The worst part is, we’re at a point now where the only thing we can do is the old fashioned trying to have a baby. We’ve emptied every bank account, begged money off friends and family, taken out loans, gotten as many grants as possible. We’re out. Adoption can’t even be a possibility because the cost is so prohibitive. I’ve got no hope that I will EVER have a child, let alone anytime in the near future. I’ve tried everything I can think of. Thought about cashing out my retirement account that work has for me, but I really can’t do that unless I were to leave my job. That’s another possibility, get hired somewhere else. The state of Illinois is one of the few states that requires jobs to provide IF treatment as part of the Health coverage, that is if you don’t work for a religious institution, which I do. So, if I were to switch jobs, not only would I probably get paid more (which would help) but I’d have IF coverage. But – welcome to our wonderful economy! No one’s hiring. Also I have to worry if it’d be a “pre-exising” condition that wouldn’t be covered anyway. My next option was to get a part time job for nights and weekends and save up for IVF. That failed too – I applied to about 10 places and never heard back from any. I really feel like the world is conspiring against me becoming a mother. I really do.
I don’t know what to do, or where to go. I feel like a boat lost at sea, drifting aimlessly hoping to crash into land, but I’m so far away from the shore I probably won’t survive the journey. Yup, that’s hopelessness folks!
However, my stupid mind got to thinking today. Maybe Baby? was talking on her blog about Metformin and linked to Birds and Squirrels about articles on Metformin. I’ve heard you lovely blog folks mention this med before, but I didn’t know what it did or why one would take it. Turns out, for women with PCOS, it can help regulate cycles and even help ovulation! It has a good percentage to help PCOS women get pregnant even! So of course, I start plotting a new plan. Get my doctor to put me on Metformin, maybe discuss taking baby aspirin, I’ve heard that helps too. Maybe I can even get insurance to cover the drugs some how, since it’s a treatment for a condition I have? I don’t know…will need to talk with doctor about that…then, I guess I could give it a couple months of trying natural? Or, maybe one more IUI shot? Of course after emptying out every ounce of cash we had, we did have another break on the financial front recently that could help for one more try if we wanted to go there. This is giving me things to think about, and actually the first glimmer of hope I’ve had in quite a while…don’t read to much into that though. That glimmer is still miles off in a room full of darkness, but at least it’s a pinpoint of light. I’ve not had that.
twitter…
Hey all…it appears I’m slowly making my way back into the IF blog world…I’ve been sitting on the sidelines watching, but I’m getting close to being able to join the game. To that end, I’ve started a TTC twitter account. I have a Twitter account for myself, but decided that I want to keep the IF and normal life updates separate. It’s just easier to manage that way. If you have Twitter, I’d love for you to follow me: SomedayBabyT
Okay…that’s all for now. I also have my Twitter feed on the side of this blog, so if you don’t have Twitter, you can follow me that way. Okay…later.
