Blog Hop

MckLinky Blog Hop

Click here to enter your link and view the entire list of entered links…

Kate over at Busted Plumbing is starting and “Infertile Blog Hop”…come join in the fun!!  Click above to enter your name and blog, and then grab the code to add to your own blog.  It’s a way for the Infertile blogging community to meet each other and support one another.  Hope you’ll join in on the fun!

Oh, and if someone follows you/comments on your blog you’re supposed to do the same thing back for them.  I’m not sure how you can follow my blog, haven’t worked that out yet, but if you comment on mine, I’ll add you to my blogroll and comment back to you!

amen sister…

Today I found a new TTC blog (I think I’m addicted!)  And was reading her most recent post.  There was something she said that made me want to shout “Amen, sister!”  So, I thought I’d quote her here and link and hope she doesn’t mind!

“I’ve been told that maybe the reason why I can’t have a child is because God doesn’t think I’m ready. Or because I’m just not ready period. Who has the right to make that decision for me? Why can’t I make that decision for me? How am I ever suppose to know if I’m not given a chance? There are many people on this earth that have the chance to be parents and still don’t care about their kids but no one stood there and told them that they weren’t ready or stopped them from having a child.”

Ain’t that the truth?  Look at all the foster kids, kids for adoption, kids getting smacked in the middle of malls, etc…I know, not all of these situations were because the parents were at fault, but I’m willing to bet a good majority of it is.  It is very frustrating to think “well, if I’m not “ready” or it’s not my “time”, then what makes those parents ready??  Just some food for thought.  Thanks to All Any1 needs is Hope, Faith and Baby Dust for stating it so well!

what’s been going on…

Hey guys.  Sorry.  I’ve been lame about posting.  Life happens sometimes.

With my last post I was talking about possible financial help that would be coming our way.  Boy did it!  We were approved for a medical loan through MedicalFinancing.com which was suggested to us from our clinic.  It’s kind of like getting a credit card specifically to pay for medical procedures.  They cover a wide variety, but one of the things they cover is infertility.  Can you believe it?  Someone actually recognizes that infertility is expensive and no one can afford it!  So, this is a loan that we will have to pay back with interest, but the monthly payments are MUCH easier to handle than paying for every single appointment the day I have them – MUCH easier!  It sucks we had to take out a loan, but it’s good to know we don’t have to worry about costs for the time being.

Also, I mentioned that we got a grant through a program at work.  This was also a blessing, as we had already gotten a very generous grant at the end of last year, which helped us to conceive.  Unfortunately, we ran through all that money and lost our child.  So, we are VERY grateful that they were willing to help us out a bit more.

And – I have some amazingly wonderful friends and family.  At the beginning of this cycle, husband and I were pretty desperate.  We basically did each appointment, one at a time, not knowing if we’d have to cancel the cycle because we ran out of money.  We started with enough for one appointment and one box of meds.  We got meds from the clinic luckily, so we were able to do appointment #2.  Then realized if we stretched it, we could make #3.  After that, they said we were ready for IUI.  It went very fast, and luckily by that point we had found out we were approved for the loan.  We barely squeaked by, but we made it.  So, because we were unsure how things would go, we pretty much hit on all of our options from day 1 of the cycle.  We contacted the financing company (which worked out), we contacted the company that gave us our previous loan to see if it were possible to get another smaller grant (which worked out) and we also sent out a letter to our families asking for any help they could offer.  We both felt bad and awkward asking, but we were desperate and at the point where we thought this might be the last try until husband is done with school.  I also got a phone call from my best friend one day asking if she could send out a call to some of our old friends for help.  Again, I felt awkward doing that, but we were desperate.  Well – that worked too!  We are now at the point where if this cycle didn’t work, we have enough to try again, and maybe once more after that if we’re very careful!  I just am stunned by the generosity and the luck that we seem to have fallen into.

If by some small miracle (fingers crossed!!!) this past IUI did work, then all the money we’ve received will just about pay off the loan that we took out.  That is beyond amazing to me.  Going from desperation to grace in about 2 weeks is beyond description.  I often times don’t know how to even express the gratitude I feel towards everyone who has helped me out, my grant representative, my family, my friends, even the loan company!!!  They have all helped the husband and I feel blessed, loved, and extremely lucky.

So yes, we had our #2 (well…really 3rd, but I’ve started over since the miscarriage counting the IUI’s) IUI procedure last Thursday and Friday.  Right after the procedure on Friday the husband and I jumped in the car and headed out for our annual anniversary trip to McGregor, IA.  We’ve gone there every year since our honey moon (so 5 years now) for camping, B&B at the Little Switzerland Inn, and hanging out with my sister and her family on there boat on the Mississippi.  It was amazing to get away from everything here in Chicago for 4 days!  No work, no puppies that pee on the floor and then I step in it, no thoughts of IF – just pure fun and vacation – and sleep!!  I’ve been dog tired the past few weeks, trying to get money worked out, unpacking the new apartment, 2 am wake ups by the puppy, driving over an hour a day to get to and from work now, and just being generally cranky the last month (apologies to the husband for that one).  I really needed this break, and it didn’t disappoint.  I’ll try to post some pictures up at some point.

So, now we’re on the TWW for the blood test after IUI.  We’ll see.

Also, is sad news, please keep Maybe Baby? in your thoughts.  She and I have very similar stories and timelines with the loss of our babies this year.  She had recently become pregnant again, quite unexpectly and on her own without medical intervention, but found out yesterday that she had lost the baby.  It’s hard enough to loose one child to miscarriage; she is having to deal with the loss of two babies in the same year.  I grieve with her.  If you have a moment, head over to her blog and leave her a comment.  One big thing that helps us IFers get through the tough times are words from those who have been there and really do understand the pain.