and now, the rest of the story…

Before I tell the whole doctor’s appointment fiasco story, I just want to brag a bit – I got my first round of morning sickness today!!!  I know, not something you normally want to brag about, but I’ve never had it before.  I thought maybe I never would – maybe I just needed to get further on in pregnancy to have it.  It makes me feel awful, but on the other hand, it makes me happy, because maybe – just maybe it means I’m going to make it 😀

Woke up about 4 am and the whole world was spinning!  I’ve never been so dizzy in my life!  I tried to lay still on my back for a bit and it calmed down a little, so I went to turn on my side – bad idea jeans.  I sat up and hubby asked if I was okay.  I said “I think I am going to throw up”  he said, “I’ll go get the bucket.”  Good man.  I then had him walk me to the bathroom (so I wouldn’t fall over) because of course, I had to pee again.  Took the bucket with me.  Once I felt a bit better he walked me back to bed and I spent the rest of the night lying still on my back, trying to sleep when I could.  By morning the dizziness was less and my tummy felt better.

I wanted to stay home, but knew I needed to go to work, because I already missed most of Monday, and I’m taking 1/2 of Friday and all of next Monday off to go up to Minnesota to see my first Twins game at the new Target Field!!!  So, I had hubby drive me in to work.  It wasn’t the best ride, got nauseous again, but I was pretty okay until we turned off Lake Shore Drive and onto a very bumpy, pot hole filled street.  Then, I made him pull over and grab a bucket from the trunk.  He got me to work and I ran in to the bathroom while he went to the store to get me snacks and lunch.

I haven’t actually thrown up yet, but it’s been very very close.  I’m keeping my bucket by my desk all day, and trying not to make sudden movements, as I’m still pretty dizzy.

So that’s my sickness story…on to my doctor visit (this is going to be a long post – sorry.  Maybe a nice little picture will help break up the longness of the post!)

Here is my little one at 9 weeks!!  I’ll get into the story of the ultrasound in a bit here.

So my first prenatal appointment with my ob/gyn was this Monday.  My appointment was at 11:45, so I left work at 11 and go there a bit early.  Luckily they got me in pretty quick.  Sat through the long family & medical history questions from the nurse.  I noticed that the u/s machine was not in the room so I asked if Dr. D was going to do one, since I have a clot next to the baby in my uterus.  The nurse said, in that case yes, she probably would want to do an ultrasound.  So she had me dress in the lovely, very flattering hospital gown and cover in a sheet.  An actual sheet, not a paper one!  My MFM has real sheets too – and they’re huge!  I never felt covered when I had to use the paper ones!

Anyway, Dr. D comes in and tells me that their u/s machine broke the other day and she wouldn’t be able to do an u/s.  My heart dropped.  I’d been anticipating this appointment to make sure my baby was still okay and the little heart was beating away.  She said there was another office in the building that did u/s and she would try to squeeze me in there, but it may not be the same day.  I told her to try anyway.

Then, I had to go through more med. history questions with her, have a breast exam and a pelvic exam (complete with speculum, yay…).  She said all looked good and that my cervix was closed, a good sign.  I was happy about that.  I also asked her about some pain I’d been having on the left side, sort of a sharp, crampy feeling I get sometimes, but only on the left.  She said that was okay, because it’s where the cyst was (what cyst?  Do I have that too, or is that the clot?  Of course, I didn’t ask because I think of these things later…) and the pain was actually good, because it means it’s doing what it’s supposed to do.  During my exam she pressed around and found the exact spot where it was.  OUCH!  So I ask a bunch more questions, get refill RX’s for progesterone (to get me to week 10 when the placenta takes over) and Metformin (to get me to the 2nd Trimester, when I will stop that).

She then leaves to try and get an u/s appointment for me and to get the blood work form for me I’ll need to do for them.  I was lucky that day, because she said they could get me in at 2 pm.  I took it immediately (keep in mind, I left at 11, so I hadn’t had lunch yet).  I also get my blood work form, and 3 pick requisition forms for the office with the u/s machine.  The first is for the u/s appointment that day, the 2nd is to see their MFM doctor (I’m switching insurance in September and the new one doesn’t cover my lovely MFM doc, which makes me very sad), and the 3rd is for 12 week screening.

So, I have to head downstairs (the ob is in a huge medical building, attached to a hospital) to reception and “check in” to go to the Antenatal Office for the u/s.  I literally checked in as an outpatient – had to wear a hospital bracelet and everything!  Very strange.  They tell me I can go up to the office right away, even though my appointment isn’t for another hour.  I head up, check in and they bring me back about 15 min later – early again!

So, time for the ultrasound.  You can guess, I’m terribly nervous at this point.  I’ve never made it to a 2nd ultrasound.  I knew I should be 9 weeks, and I’ve never made it that far either.  To my surprise I didn’t have to do the transvaginal u/s with Wandy!  It was on top of my tummy, yay!  Of course, you have to have a full bladder for that, and they push REALLY hard, so it was uncomfortable, but at least on the outside instead of inside.  My tech was super nice, and actually knew my old MFM because he used to work in there office.  Her name was Mary.

She fires up the machine and starts the u/s.  I’m holding my breath the whole time.  Usually, if they don’t say something soon after it starts, I know it’s bad news.  She waited about 20 seconds, which were the longest of my life – then turned the screen:

Mary: You see the fluttering little heart?

Me: There is still a heartbeat?

Mary: Yes there is!

Me:  *starts to cry and sniffle*

She immediately grabbed the tissue box and handed me one and held my hand.  I told her I’ve never gotten this far before.  I was pretty much bawling at this point.  It was so wonderful and beautiful.  Next she told me we could try to hear the heartbeat, though it’d be just a short 2 seconds so to listen close.  She cranked up the volume and there it was.  2 perfect, beautiful little beats.  The tears started up again, as I had never heard my baby’s heartbeat before.  She told me it was a great 171 bpm.  She did some more measurements and checked on the clot and then it was over.  She printed me some pictures, too 😀  I asked about the clot and she said based on the notes from my old MFM doc, it looked to be about the same size.  I was a bit upset about that, as I’ve lost so much old blood over the past 3 weeks, I was so hopeful it would be gone, or at least smaller!  I’d even stopped spotting over the past week!  No luck though.

So, I get all the goopy gel off (well, as much as I could anyway) and then ask her where I go to make the appointment for my 2nd pink slip of paper.  She looked at it and wasn’t sure what it was for.  She told me to stay in the room and she’d figure it out for me.  Seriously, this place was great!  She came back about 5 min later and said it was for a consult with the MFM about my blood tests and that if I wanted the MFM doc could see me in a few minutes.  I figured, might as well get it done since I was there.

So, about 15 min in the waiting room and they called me back.  I sat with the MFM nurse for a few minutes (she was super nice, too and we had a lot of personal conversation as well as medical) and answered some questions.  She told me to wait a bit and the MFM would be ready for me.  She offered me some juice while I waited which I jumped on because I was starving.  Finally get in to see the doctor and it was really just a rehashing of what I already knew.  She just explained what the MTHFR diagnosis meant and why I had been put on the extra folic acid and baby aspirin.  It seemed kind of silly that I had to meet with her since I already knew all the info, but it was nice to meet here, as I’m sure I’ll be seeing her again.

Next, I went and made my appointment for the 1st Trimester screening (no amnio, I don’t want to do that at all, but we’ll do the u/s and bloodwork).  So I go back to there office on Aug 5th.  I’ll be about 12.5 wks by then.  Glad I don’t have to wait until my next ob appointment to see the baby again (which is Aug 16th).

Finally, I went back up the elevator to finally do the blood work for my ob.  I got into my car at 3pm and was back to the office around 3:30 pm.  I felt so bad that I’d been gone so long.  Luckily I had sent a text to my husband and had him call my boss to tell him I was running late at the doctor.

So, that’s my very very very long story.  If you’ve made it through to the end, I commend you and would give you a medal if I could!  Honestly though, thank you to all of you who have supported me and given me advice through this whole adventure of TTC.  I’m not at the end yet, but after Monday, I’m feeling more and more confident that this could happen, I could be holding my baby come February 14th!!!

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houston, we have a…

HEART BEAT!!

Yup – just got back from the doctor and there is indeed a tiny Thornburgh in there, with a 125 bpm heart beat, and measuring 6wks 5d.

However…there is a blood clot right next to the baby, about 1 in long.  This is what was causing my bleeding.  The MFM said there is nothing we can do about it.  I’m just supposed to take it very easy, and check again in 1 month with another ultrasound.  Luckily, I have my ob/gyn appointment on July 12th, so I’m hoping she will want to do an u/s then.  Until then: REST REST REST!  That is my NEW mantra!

I’m going to take a nap now, but I wanted to post the update quick.  OH!  If all goes well, my EDD is February 13th, 2010.  Hopefully we can get there!

Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has sent me messages, comments and Twitter support.  I love you all and this journey is a bit easier knowing I have you all with me.  Thank you.

facing fear again…

On Sunday, June 6th I took a pregnancy test.  It was positive.  My first response?  I broke into tear – I was terrified.  Scared that I would again loose my baby again.  Of course, I was happy, too, that I was pregnant again and had a chance, but the fear was there.

I called my MFM doctor on Monday, June 7th and set up a 1st ultrasound for June 25th.  Called my ob/gyn and set up an appointment for July 12th (after lots of phone calls, being told I’d need to see a different doctor because she was booked up and talking directly with her nurse, that’s a whole different story that I’m not gonna go into right now though).  Tuesday, June 8th I decided that it was too long of a wait and wanted to do some beta tests.  I spoke with my ob doc and beta tests were set for that Thursday and Saturday.

Beta #1 (20 dpo) -1950

Beta #2 (22 dpo) – 3376

Good numbers right?  I began to rest a bit easier, that I’d at least make it to my first appointment.

Monday, June 14th I woke up to spotting.  Not much, just a bit on the TP, but enough to make my heart drop.  Called my ob and she told me to move my MFM appointment up to the end of the week if possible, sent me in for a beta test that day.  MFM appointment was switched to that Friday, the 18th.

Beta #3 (24 dpo) – 5999

Progesterone: 10.4

I was told that my progesterone was a bit low and to ask the MFM doctor about it at my appointment.  I told the nurse over the phone that I still had some progesterone inserts from when I was going through treatments and asked if I should use those.  She gave me a very definitive no, that I should ask the MFM doc what to do.  Spotting continued throughout the week, but still very little, and no cramping.

Friday, I go to the MFM doctor for my first u/s…hoping that the baby is big enough to see a heartbeat, and that it even has a heartbeat.  I’m guessing I’m about 6wks (based on when I ovulated).  The u/s starts, and I just can tell it’s not good news.  I see no little flickering.  The doctor doesn’t say a word.  At one point he grabs my hand and holds me on my wrist.  At first I think he’s trying to comfort me, but then I realized he was probably checking my pulse for some reason?  He asks if I’m sure on the date of my last period.  I tell him yes, but my ovulation was late, so I’m not as far along as the stupid pregnancy wheel says I am.  He says okay, we’ll need to check and the u/s is over.

The nurse leaves the room and we talk.  He tells me that yes, there is a pregnancy there, but that it is too small to detect a heartbeat.  He pulls out the wheel again and, basing on my ovulation, says I’m somewhere in the 5 + week point.  He says we will try again in one week.  He also tells me that either the baby is too small to see the heart beat, or I am having a miscarriage.  There is no way to tell yet.  Then he points to the pictures on the screen and shows me that there are 2 sacs – two.  The 2nd is underdeveloped and he says that could be what’s causing the bleeding.  So I go back this Friday, June 25th, to see what’s going on.

I told him about the low progesterone and that I had some inserts, asked if I should use them, and that the nurse had told me not too.  He said I should absolutely use them and asked why the nurse had told me not too.  Very good question doctor, wish I knew.

Of course, as soon as I left the appointment, my spotting turned from just a bit on the TP to a full flow.  Figures.  It had been all pink & brown up until that point, but that day, it was bright red.  It has since slowed down again and no longer red.  I’m hoping that it was from the ultrasound wand, it was a pretty aggressive examination, but honestly, I don’t have much hope at this point.

When I got my first 2 beta numbers, my brain started thinking twins, they just seemed so high for so early on.  Guess I was right, but no longer.  If nothing else, I have lost one, and possibly I have lost both.  I have to wait again, until Friday to find out – hopefully we’ll know then.

I called the ob doc on Friday to tell her what happened at the u/s and request more beta tests for this week.  She was not in (she only in on Mondays & Fridays, and apparently has a lot of vacation the next few weeks…), so the nurse said, “Oh, I’m sure your MFM doctor will talk to her Monday and she’ll want to do 2 more beta draws.  She’ll call you then.”  I highly doubt that.  I will be calling back today.

So – that’s the story so far.  That’s why I haven’t been blogging.  I really wanted to tell you all, but there are IRL people who read my blog, and I needed to make sure to contact certain people to tell them what was going on before they read about it on the blog – it’s just how it is.

Now my story is out there.  I’m still spotting, still have no cramping.  I know I’ve lost one baby, and think I’ve lost another.  I’m not sure where to go next.  I’ve always wanted twins.  Maybe someday my luck will turn around.  I just can’t believe I’m in this place again.  And that I’m still stuck in this eternal limbo of not knowing.  It’s frustrating and painful.  Last week, I was calm.  Nervous, but accepting of what was happening and what probably would happen.  But now, seeing the u/s, knowing there were 2, but not knowing still what is happening, it really drug me down.  I can’t get back to that hopeful and accepting state I was in last week.  Friday can not come soon enough.

finding a new doctor…

So you may recall, I broke up with my old ob/gyn (see the full story here) due to many issues (some of which are also explained here).  Shortly after I decided I was done with Dr. Tam, I google searched for gynecologists in Chicago.  I know, I know…dangerous thing to do!  Who knows what you could end up with!  Since moving here, I’ve always gone to see doctors either by referral from another doc, or by advice from a friend.  My regular doctor had referred me to Dr. Tam, so I couldn’t ask him for another referral (he seemed to really like her and think she would be good), and I of course couldn’t ask Dr. Tam – that would be rude: “Hey, ya know, you kinda suck as an ob/gyn…could you maybe give me a name of someone way better than you?”  Yeah, I’m not that kind of person (I hope)…so I googled.  I found someone online, who took my insurance and had nothing by 5 star reviews from current patients.  So, I took a leap of faith and called to set up a consultation appointment.  I figured there would be no harm going in to talk with her and see what she had to offer!

So, I was looking for someone I could feel comfortable with, someone who seemed to either understand my particular fertility problems or at least be willing to work with me and learn.  Boy howdy, did I find her!

My first clue that this was going to be the right place was the paperwork I had to fill out before getting there.  In the section to fill out about past pregnancies, not was there a place to mark if the pregnancy had ended successfully, but had a column to fill out about miscarriages and a spot to put how far along in the pregnancy you reached!  Seriously, this place understood pregnancy does not = healthy baby all the time.  Other forms I’ve filled out in the past just asked for pregnancy and how old the child is now.

I got into the office and the nurse brought me back for a few medical history questions and to check my blood pressure.  Then the doctor came in.  She was so nice!  I was immediately at ease!  She went over more history with me, spent time with me trying to get the time line of my pregnancies, losses and diagnosis figured out so she understood the steps I’ve already taken.  She has a relationship with Dr. Freaking-Awesome (my MFM doc) already and was happy to let me continue to see him if/when I get pregnant again.  She then talked with me about possible next steps – she really understood my diagnosis and current treatments!  I couldn’t believe it, I doctor that actually understood me and was willing to help me!!  It was a miracle.  Right away there were some tests she wanted to run (that should have been done when I had first mentioned to my old gyno that I was thinking of trying to get pregnant).  I’m going in today for some blood work.  First off, she’s checking my Progesterone levels to see if I did in fact ovulate this month (I should be 7dpo if I did).  She wants to see if I’m Oing on my own.  She mentioned clomid, that it might be a good thing to introduce to my current regimen.  I don’t know why but I’ve ALWAYS been hesitant about taking it.  All of my docs (old gyno, RE, MFM) have mentioned it to me and I’ve always said no.  But having stepped back now, I think it may be time – if it helps I’m willing to go there now.  New ob/gyn seems to think that it may just be that extra push that I need.  Okay, I’m ready for it then!

I’m also being tested for cystic fibrosis carrier and to see if I’m still immune to chicken pox and rubella.  I guess this should have been tested for when I first wanted to get pregnant.  If I’m a carrier for cystic fibrosis, DH will need to be tested too.  If both parents are carriers then the baby would get it.  I really hope that I’m not!

Step 2 of the new plan is to go in a few days after my next cycle begins (hopefully it won’t!) and get an endometrial biopsy.  I’ve never had this before.  She says that I have certain risk factors (PCOS, MTHFR, over weight, etc…) that could lead to Endometrial cancer, and she just wants to check and make sure all is well.  It should be no worse than getting the saline sonogram that I had with my RE, so I’m not too nervous about it.  She said I may get a bit crampier than the other test, so I’ll just take some ibuprofen or Tylenol before the procedure to help with that.

Can you believe this – all from a consultation appointment to see if I’d like to stay with this doctor!  I can tell you, about 1 min into my conversation with her I’d already decided!!  She even said if I get a positive pregnancy test to call Dr. Freakin-Awesome first to confirm viability and then to call her – she takes this high risk stuff seriously!!  I know she’ll be able to deal with crazy pregnant me if/when I get to that point!  I’m so happy with how this all worked out!!!

Okay, so now for the naming ceremony.  I need to give her a clever nickname – oh, and by the way, if you live in the Chicago area and want to check out my new doctor, send me an email at somedaybabyt at gmail dot com and I’ll give you her contact info.  Hmm…how about, Dr. Understanding?  Dr. Delightful?  Dr. Proactive?  Any good suggestions?  I’ll take them!!  Maybe we’ll even do a poll if I get a bunch of good ideas!  Leave your name suggestions in the comments!

my drug habit…

I went in for my last (hopefully) blood test for a while.  It was to check my homocystine (?) levels, which is realated to the MTHFR.  I’m not sure what will happen if it comes back that I have that, too…more meds?  Don’t know.  Anyway I’m really hoping that we’re now at the point where I can get pregnant and sustain it all the way through.  Sadly it’s taken 3 doctors, 3+ years and 2 lost babies to figure this all out.  I’ve learned that I need to be more proactive about my own diagnosis and fight for the things that I want.

When I first went in to see Dr. Freakin’ Awesome (the MFM doc) I was asking him all kinds of questions about baby aspirin and lovenox, since I know so many of you ladies have been put on one or both of those.  At that point (rightly so) he didn’t think it was necessary, since we hadn’t run the blood work yet.  I was kind of just feeling out what might be used for some treatment.  Now with the MTHFR diagnosis he has put me on baby aspirin, plus the extra folic acid.  I’ve been doing a lot of “research” (by that I mean, Dr. Google has been consulted on this), and have found that most women diagnosed with MTHFR are then put on the baby aspirin, extra folic acid (on top of a prenatal) and then when they become pregnant are prescribed lovenox or heparin.  I’ve found this article, that I have now printed off to put in my files.  If (when…) I get pregnant I will be using it to convince whatever doctor I have at the time to put me on one of the two of those.  I hate needles – really hate them, but whatever it takes ya know, as I’m sure you all understand.  I also stumbled across a blog called The Expecting Father – MTHFR gene mutation and pregnancy.  It’s written by a man who’s wife had recurrent miscarriage (2) and then was found to have the MTHFR gene mutation.  When she became pregnant again she was given lovenox and delivered a healthy baby boy.  They have since had another baby boy just a few weeks ago with the same treatments.  I also know my dear blog friend K of Waiting for Sunflower has used the same treatment and her little guy should be coming in the next few weeks!!  You can be sure I’ll be very proactive about getting this same treatment for myself.

In other news, I’ve scheduled a consultation appointment with a new ob/gyn (for May 24th).  I found her by searching online (I know, kinda scary) – but she was reviewed on Yelp! and all of the reviews were 5 stars!  She is covered by my insurance as well.  I’m hoping to go in to the meeting with all of my medical records and just be very straight with her what I want.  I’m hoping she has some experience/knowledge of infertility issues, specifically PCOS and now MTHFR.  She sounds like a great doctor, but if she can’t meet my needs, I’ll be looking for someone else.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

Okay, now on to the actual reason for this post!  I wanted to do a show and tell of my new drug habit (sorry this beginning part kinda got away from me).  First off, I’ve turned into an old lady – yup, I bought a pill box.  I figured though if I need a pill box to keep track of everything, it may as well be a “hip” pill box, so this is what I got:

It’s individual canisters that screw together to make this stack.  There’s an extra lid so if you’re going on vacation, you can just take the days you’ll need.  It’s pretty fun, and allows me to see if I’d remembered to take my pills for the day.  I just put my morning dose in the jars.  I have an alarm set on my phone to go off to remember to take my Metformin at lunch and bed time.

Here’s a shot of the bottles of pills:

The big jar is the pre-natals (some generic brand my insurance company picked out…).  The next generic looking jar is my Metformin.  The yellow is the extra Folic Acid (I’m supposed to take 1 mg a day, but they only came in doses of 400 mcg, so I take 3 of those) and the smallest jar is the “baby” aspirin, which isn’t for baby’s at all, they just call it that.  Though it is chewable and orange flavored!

So the grand total for the day is 8 pills: 6 in the morning and then then other 2 through out the day.  Here they all are!

Nice, huh?  The prenatal is a very vibrant pink.  There is even a warning on the bottle that it may turn your pee colors for a while…yeah, really.  Luckily I didn’t get that side effect!  I don’t know why they had to make it so pink!

That’s my update for now.  Hopefully my results will come back soon and I know for sure the full treatment for me, and hopefully, it’ll work!  Oh…and btw, I’m on CD-21, and no sign of ovulation.  My temps have been all over the place throughout this whole cycle.  I forgot to do my OPK this morning.  Might do it tonight and see what happens…

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Okay…so, I was just getting ready to hit PUBLISH and my phone rang.  It was Dr. Freakin’ Awesome’s office and my blood work came back normal!  Yay!  So I just stick with the above until it works!

dr. freakin’ awesome & answers…

Have I mentioned how much I love my MFM doctor?  I really do!  He’s been amazing to me…I’ve only seen him once, but when I have questions or tests come back HE calls me personally!  Can you imagine that??  A DOCTOR that makes phone calls with test results???

Therefore I dub thee: Dr. Freakin’ Awesome!  From now on, that shall be how I refer to the MFM doc.  I wish I could have him for all of my ob/gyn, infertility, MFM related appointments…

Anyway, he called me this morning on my way to work (DH was driving luckily so I could take the call).  My über blood work came back (really quickly too, as I though it’d be late next week before I heard anything).  He said everything came back normal except the MTHFR – basically it means that my body doesn’t hold on to folic acid (which is a tiny bit important when trying to create and sustain a life…).  It also can cause clotting problems that can lead to miscarriage.  He thinks however (and he told me this when I met him the first time) that my 2 losses had just been bad luck and it didn’t seem there was anything particular that led to the losses.

He’s going to send me in for one more test…some sort of enzyme.  I don’t recall the name (I’ll tell you when I get my requisition form).  He’s also giving me copies of ALL of my test results, in case I ever move or get a new doctor so I don’t have to repeat the tests!  Did I mention how freakin’ awesome Dr. Freakin’ Awesome is??  Cause, well…he is!  My DH is heading down there after lunch to get my results and the blood work order form.

So…what is the next step?  I will be adding a folic acid supplement to my daily Metformin and Prenatal.  Also I will start taking 1 baby aspirin a day.  So that’s a total of 6 pills a day!  Oh well…if it gets me my baby in the end it is absolutely worth it!!!

Can I just tell you all how happy I am right now???  It sucks that there is so much wrong with me, and that it’s been a constant battle with my body and doctors these past 3 yrs, 3 mo – but now there is a better answer, and a way to deal with it that just may work.  Now with the combo of my Metformin (so I am FINALLY able to ovulate on my own) and the Folic Acid/baby aspirin (to keep my baby once s/he is concieved), this just may work out!!  A huge swell of hope has hit me again, and it was MUCH needed!!

I emailed my best friend yesterday because I’ve been having such a hard time the past month with all of this.  Baby announcements, births, preggo bellies everywhere and nothing for me but empty arms where my 2 little ones should be.  It hit me hard yesterday…if you’re on twitter, you probably saw my Infertility Pity Party tweets all day…it was a rough one.  But, now today!  I have hope again, something which is desperately needed.  This just might work…

quick update…

It’s CD14.  Nothing new to really report.  I started OPK’s this morning.  1st one is negative, though there was a faint line, so I guess it should be here soon!  Still waiting to hear from the MFM doc.  He said it’d be about 2 weeks for results and it’s only been 1.

If you have a moment, please swing over to Pitter Patter and offer your condolences to Clare and Mr. T who just found out that they lost their 1st pregnancy at 8 wks.  It’s heart breaking when a fellow IF sister looses a child.  It’s not enough that we have to go through the battle of getting pregnant, but to have so many losses among us is just cruel.

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