almost there…

So, I’ve not been updating on here.  No excuses for you, I just haven’t done it.  If any of you are still around, thanks!  Here’s a quick update.

Today I am 37 weeks 4 days.  I’m officially at the “you could go anytime” point.  That is so strange to me!  I’ve finally gotten used to the fact that I am indeed pregnant and the baby is going to be okay, and in a few short weeks, I will get to meet this little one!  I still can’t wrap my mind around actually HAVING a baby – not the labor part (though, yes, that too) but the fact that I will have a small person to care for, one that my husband and I made together and longed for.  I’m extremely happy, but I need to get my brain to see beyond this belly!

A few u/s shots:

Cute little face at 31 weeks.  If you look close you can make out the eyes, nose and mouth.

A tiny little ear!  The u/s tech said it was clearest ear she’d ever seen on the screen.  There was also lots of visible hair!  We have a Sasquatch.

It’s getting much harder to make out details.  This was at 35 weeks 1 day.  You can kind of see the profile.  At the last u/s, baby was estimated to be about 6 lbs!

 

And just for comparison, the 2 belly shots I’ve taken:

29 weeks 4 days

37 weeks 2 days

I have a baby belly.  Never thought it would happen!  It took a while for me to finally show.  Unfortunately, do to my weight before pregnancy, I haven’t looked pregnant all that long.  But just a couple of weeks ago I saw an old friend and the first thing she said to me was “Oh my, you’re pregnant!”  That made me feel good – that it wasn’t just me noticing any more 😀

17 days until I’m due.  I can’t believe that!  It’s pretty crazy around here.  I’m at the doctor’s office 2-4 times per week.  We have labor classes on Thursday nights, I have NST (non stress test)/AFI (an u/s to check the amniotic fluid) 2 times per week, and I now see the doctor every week.  Not to mention, there is one more growth u/s scheduled, if I make it that far.  I feel like I”m driving to that building every day, which sometimes is true!  Things are going really well though.  I’ll try to get some nursery pics up on here soon!

Peace!

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23 weeks…

I made it!  23 weeks!!!  VIABILITY!!!  I can’t tell you how that feels.  Technically today I am 23wks 4d.  I was not only happy to have reached the 23wk milestone, but also fortunate that I had another ultrasound that day!  At our last ultrasound Blueberry didn’t feel like cooperating much, and so the tech didn’t get a good shot of the heart.  So, back I went 2 weeks later, at exactly 23wks.  Again, the little one didn’t want to cooperate.  Blueberry was on his/her stomach the whole time, face down.  The tech had me turn on my right side, then on my left.  We’d be trying to get good shots for what seems like about 30-45 min  when she was finally able to get a good view!  I guess Blueberry’s arm was lying on his/her chest, directly in front of the heart, making it hard to see through the arm bone.  While I was on my left side though, I guess the arm moved and she got what she needed.

Funny story also – while I was lying on my left, I couldn’t see the screen.  Suddenly I felt a big push for the little one and my husband said, “You just got punched!”  I replied with, “I know, I felt it!”  He actually saw Blueberry reach out and punch me!  It would have been very neat to see that, but I’m glad if only one of us could, it was him.  I’m feeling our baby move every day now, but he still can’t – so it’s nice that he got to at least see what I’m feeling 😀

I guess that will be my last ultrasound, unless my doctor wants more for some reason.  So strange that I may not see the baby again until February.  I think I’ve had 6 u/s all together for this pregnancy, and I’m only 1/2 way through.  It’s going to be a long stretch!  I’m happy though that Blueberry is healthy enough to not have to have any more checks.  The heart looked great, all of my blood work came back and we are better than average for our risk factors for the big three!  Everything is going so great.  Here are some photos from Monday:

A perfect little face.  This was the best shot she could get the whole time!

 

This is what position the baby was in the whole time!  Just like me, a belly sleeper…

 

Baby’s little foot!

And boy, have I been feeling that foot!  I’m so happy to be at the point where Blueberry is moving and I can feel it.  It’s very comforting to know that things are all okay in there.

My sisters threw me a baby shower this past Saturday.  I told them no parties until 23 wks, but the best time was at 22wks 5days, so that’s when we did it.  I’ll have pictures up at some point – need to get them off my camera first.  It was great though, and I had to hold back the tears a few times.  I never thought I would ever go to a baby shower that was for me.  Not only that, but so many people showed up!  My mother in law and sister in law even made the trek up!  It was wonderful to have them there.  My sisters did a great job – Jungle Theme!  In keeping with how we’re planning to decorate the nursery.

We’ve done some work on that, too.  Not only did we get gifts from the shower, but my sister gave me all of her nursery furniture, stroller, car seat, pack ‘n play, bassinet and a bunch of other stuff!  We had to borrow my dad’s pickup truck to get it all home!  We’ve been cleaning out the old office all week to make room for Blueberry!  All that’s left to do is sweep, mop and then set everything up.  It’s crazy to walk into that room and see a crib instead of my husbands clothes and a desk!  He had been using it as his closet/office.  So, we had to clean out the closet in our bedroom to make room for his stuff.  Luckily I could put over half of my clothes away for now because they don’t fit at this point.  Not sure what we’ll do when that stuff fits again though!

I think that’s all for now.  Next post I’ll have pics of the shower, and maybe even some nursery pics!  Hope you are all well, and thanks to anyone who is still reading!

the halftime report…

Yes, I’m still here.  Yes, the baby is still doing great!!!  We just got back from our 20wk (4d) ultrasound and all was well.  Heartbeat was great at 133 bpm.  Placenta and cervix all looking good (thank God).  Our little Blueberry even had the hiccups during the u/s!  Really cute.  Baby was not being very cooperative though.    We are not finding out the gender, so when the tech went to check out that area, she would turn the screen.  She could never see anything though.  I’m kinda glad.  It wouldn’t be fair for her to know and not my husband and I!  Also, she couldn’t get a good view of the heart, so we go back in 2 weeks for another u/s – fine by me!  The tech said everything looked good, but they just want to make sure they get a good view of it.  I’ll be exactly at 23wks for the next appointment.  My next big milestone.

I can’t believe I’m 1/2 way through this pregnancy.  After the appointment today I took a deep breath.  This is actually happening.  I’m going to have a little baby in February.  I know, there still a lot of time and something could still go wrong, but I’ve decided now that I need to start thinking in terms of when and not if when it comes to this baby.

The first shower is planned, and the invites are out.  With the holidays coming up (Thanksgiving, Christmas) it was hard to find a time later in the pregnancy like I had wanted.  My shower will be at 22wks 6d.  I didn’t want any showers before 23wks, but I guess one day does not make that much difference 🙂  My big sister is planning this one for me.  I’m very excited.  It was great to put together a registry and actually be able to finally share it with people besides my husband.  We’ve had a registry put together on Amazon.com for almost 2 years now, since our first little one – but now people can look at it and buy from it!  That’s a big step for me, and I’m so happy to have gotten here.

Life is pretty busy, which is why I have been lacking in the posts.  I quit my job, went on a great vacation for 10 days and started school!  I just wrote my 1st paper last night…it’s really awful, but it’s done.  It’s for a subject I don’t care much about, but is required for my degree.  I’m taking 4 classes, and I love the other 3.  Just have to suffer through this other one and get it done!

Okay, I guess y’all want to see photos, huh?  Well, here they are!

This is the best profile shot.  Blueberry has his/her hands over his/her face.  I think he/she was sick of being poked at by the u/s tech at this point!

We call this one “robo-baby” or “the terminator” – creepy huh?  That’s our little one’s iris.  Neat that you can see that, but makes for a creepy picture!

This one is titled “rock star baby”.  I think it looks like he/she is rocking out with a microphone in its hand!

Well, I guess that’s it for now.  I hope to be better about updates now.  Especially now that I’m feeling more confident in the pregnancy.  I’ve been reluctant to say things in between appointments, just in case – but like I said, this baby is now a WHEN and not and if 😀  Thank you to those of you who have stuck around, and to those of you who have been prodding me to write incessantly (you know who you are)!  Love to you all!

my little thumb sucker…

We interrupt the previously scheduled 30 Day Blog Journal to bring you an important update – My baby is doing great!!

We went in for our “sequential screening” today (to check for down syndrome, trisomy 18 and spina bifida). I was so nervous going in. I just wanted to see that little heart pumping away. We had quite a long wait and both Justin and I were going batty just sitting around waiting! We finally got called back to the u/s room. She squirted the jelly on my tummy – and then there Blueberry was. At first I didn’t see the heartbeat and I got nervous, then the little one did a quick jump! It was so amazing, not only knowing all was still well, but that the little one was moving around! So awesome – my husband and I both broke into tears and the tech gave him a big wad of Kleenex first 🙂 After that, I was just so happy Blueberry was still there that I was able to relax and enjoy the rest of the show.

Little one was SO active! Justin swore it was waving to him at one point (the screen was turned away from me then for the tech to take the measurements, so I can’t confirm that – but I’m sure Blueberry was saying “HI DAD”). The tech said we wouldn’t get the results of all the screening until after the blood tests, but for now, everything looked great on the u/s.

We also got to hear the little heartbeat, plugging away at 150 bpm – thumpa thumpa thumpa! Amazing, amazing sound…nothing like it in the world! Blueberry is measuring somewhere between 12w3d (smallest measurement she took) to up to 13w1d (largest measurement she took). I’m at 12w3d today, so those all sound great to me!

We also got LOTS of pictures! I won’t post them all, but here is my favorite:

My little thumb sucker.  So cute, right?  I couldn’t be happier right now.  Please,  remind me of this moment when I start freaking out in a few weeks again.  For now, I promised myself after this u/s, if all was well, I would try to be more calm.  I’m going to finally open up the copy of “What to Expect” that I ordered, and I’m going to start up my journal again.  With my 2 other babies I journaled to them almost every night.  I was too afraid to do that this time, but I’m ready now.

Next u/s in 8 weeks!!!  I don’t know how I’m going to wait that long (October 1st).  Maybe my ob/gyn will want to do an ultrasound herself at some point.  The hubby and I had a discussion about renting a doppler but both decided it would cause more anxiety than reassurance for both of us.

I have a pre-natal appointment with Dr. D on the 9th.  I’m glad it’s so soon after, but hopefully that doesn’t mean I”m going to have to wait a long time until my next one!

We’re thinking soon of letting more people know about the pregnancy.  It makes me nervous, but I know at some point I have to get over that and celebrate with my friends and family, and that’s what I really want to do right now – celebrate!!!

and now, the rest of the story…

Before I tell the whole doctor’s appointment fiasco story, I just want to brag a bit – I got my first round of morning sickness today!!!  I know, not something you normally want to brag about, but I’ve never had it before.  I thought maybe I never would – maybe I just needed to get further on in pregnancy to have it.  It makes me feel awful, but on the other hand, it makes me happy, because maybe – just maybe it means I’m going to make it 😀

Woke up about 4 am and the whole world was spinning!  I’ve never been so dizzy in my life!  I tried to lay still on my back for a bit and it calmed down a little, so I went to turn on my side – bad idea jeans.  I sat up and hubby asked if I was okay.  I said “I think I am going to throw up”  he said, “I’ll go get the bucket.”  Good man.  I then had him walk me to the bathroom (so I wouldn’t fall over) because of course, I had to pee again.  Took the bucket with me.  Once I felt a bit better he walked me back to bed and I spent the rest of the night lying still on my back, trying to sleep when I could.  By morning the dizziness was less and my tummy felt better.

I wanted to stay home, but knew I needed to go to work, because I already missed most of Monday, and I’m taking 1/2 of Friday and all of next Monday off to go up to Minnesota to see my first Twins game at the new Target Field!!!  So, I had hubby drive me in to work.  It wasn’t the best ride, got nauseous again, but I was pretty okay until we turned off Lake Shore Drive and onto a very bumpy, pot hole filled street.  Then, I made him pull over and grab a bucket from the trunk.  He got me to work and I ran in to the bathroom while he went to the store to get me snacks and lunch.

I haven’t actually thrown up yet, but it’s been very very close.  I’m keeping my bucket by my desk all day, and trying not to make sudden movements, as I’m still pretty dizzy.

So that’s my sickness story…on to my doctor visit (this is going to be a long post – sorry.  Maybe a nice little picture will help break up the longness of the post!)

Here is my little one at 9 weeks!!  I’ll get into the story of the ultrasound in a bit here.

So my first prenatal appointment with my ob/gyn was this Monday.  My appointment was at 11:45, so I left work at 11 and go there a bit early.  Luckily they got me in pretty quick.  Sat through the long family & medical history questions from the nurse.  I noticed that the u/s machine was not in the room so I asked if Dr. D was going to do one, since I have a clot next to the baby in my uterus.  The nurse said, in that case yes, she probably would want to do an ultrasound.  So she had me dress in the lovely, very flattering hospital gown and cover in a sheet.  An actual sheet, not a paper one!  My MFM has real sheets too – and they’re huge!  I never felt covered when I had to use the paper ones!

Anyway, Dr. D comes in and tells me that their u/s machine broke the other day and she wouldn’t be able to do an u/s.  My heart dropped.  I’d been anticipating this appointment to make sure my baby was still okay and the little heart was beating away.  She said there was another office in the building that did u/s and she would try to squeeze me in there, but it may not be the same day.  I told her to try anyway.

Then, I had to go through more med. history questions with her, have a breast exam and a pelvic exam (complete with speculum, yay…).  She said all looked good and that my cervix was closed, a good sign.  I was happy about that.  I also asked her about some pain I’d been having on the left side, sort of a sharp, crampy feeling I get sometimes, but only on the left.  She said that was okay, because it’s where the cyst was (what cyst?  Do I have that too, or is that the clot?  Of course, I didn’t ask because I think of these things later…) and the pain was actually good, because it means it’s doing what it’s supposed to do.  During my exam she pressed around and found the exact spot where it was.  OUCH!  So I ask a bunch more questions, get refill RX’s for progesterone (to get me to week 10 when the placenta takes over) and Metformin (to get me to the 2nd Trimester, when I will stop that).

She then leaves to try and get an u/s appointment for me and to get the blood work form for me I’ll need to do for them.  I was lucky that day, because she said they could get me in at 2 pm.  I took it immediately (keep in mind, I left at 11, so I hadn’t had lunch yet).  I also get my blood work form, and 3 pick requisition forms for the office with the u/s machine.  The first is for the u/s appointment that day, the 2nd is to see their MFM doctor (I’m switching insurance in September and the new one doesn’t cover my lovely MFM doc, which makes me very sad), and the 3rd is for 12 week screening.

So, I have to head downstairs (the ob is in a huge medical building, attached to a hospital) to reception and “check in” to go to the Antenatal Office for the u/s.  I literally checked in as an outpatient – had to wear a hospital bracelet and everything!  Very strange.  They tell me I can go up to the office right away, even though my appointment isn’t for another hour.  I head up, check in and they bring me back about 15 min later – early again!

So, time for the ultrasound.  You can guess, I’m terribly nervous at this point.  I’ve never made it to a 2nd ultrasound.  I knew I should be 9 weeks, and I’ve never made it that far either.  To my surprise I didn’t have to do the transvaginal u/s with Wandy!  It was on top of my tummy, yay!  Of course, you have to have a full bladder for that, and they push REALLY hard, so it was uncomfortable, but at least on the outside instead of inside.  My tech was super nice, and actually knew my old MFM because he used to work in there office.  Her name was Mary.

She fires up the machine and starts the u/s.  I’m holding my breath the whole time.  Usually, if they don’t say something soon after it starts, I know it’s bad news.  She waited about 20 seconds, which were the longest of my life – then turned the screen:

Mary: You see the fluttering little heart?

Me: There is still a heartbeat?

Mary: Yes there is!

Me:  *starts to cry and sniffle*

She immediately grabbed the tissue box and handed me one and held my hand.  I told her I’ve never gotten this far before.  I was pretty much bawling at this point.  It was so wonderful and beautiful.  Next she told me we could try to hear the heartbeat, though it’d be just a short 2 seconds so to listen close.  She cranked up the volume and there it was.  2 perfect, beautiful little beats.  The tears started up again, as I had never heard my baby’s heartbeat before.  She told me it was a great 171 bpm.  She did some more measurements and checked on the clot and then it was over.  She printed me some pictures, too 😀  I asked about the clot and she said based on the notes from my old MFM doc, it looked to be about the same size.  I was a bit upset about that, as I’ve lost so much old blood over the past 3 weeks, I was so hopeful it would be gone, or at least smaller!  I’d even stopped spotting over the past week!  No luck though.

So, I get all the goopy gel off (well, as much as I could anyway) and then ask her where I go to make the appointment for my 2nd pink slip of paper.  She looked at it and wasn’t sure what it was for.  She told me to stay in the room and she’d figure it out for me.  Seriously, this place was great!  She came back about 5 min later and said it was for a consult with the MFM about my blood tests and that if I wanted the MFM doc could see me in a few minutes.  I figured, might as well get it done since I was there.

So, about 15 min in the waiting room and they called me back.  I sat with the MFM nurse for a few minutes (she was super nice, too and we had a lot of personal conversation as well as medical) and answered some questions.  She told me to wait a bit and the MFM would be ready for me.  She offered me some juice while I waited which I jumped on because I was starving.  Finally get in to see the doctor and it was really just a rehashing of what I already knew.  She just explained what the MTHFR diagnosis meant and why I had been put on the extra folic acid and baby aspirin.  It seemed kind of silly that I had to meet with her since I already knew all the info, but it was nice to meet here, as I’m sure I’ll be seeing her again.

Next, I went and made my appointment for the 1st Trimester screening (no amnio, I don’t want to do that at all, but we’ll do the u/s and bloodwork).  So I go back to there office on Aug 5th.  I’ll be about 12.5 wks by then.  Glad I don’t have to wait until my next ob appointment to see the baby again (which is Aug 16th).

Finally, I went back up the elevator to finally do the blood work for my ob.  I got into my car at 3pm and was back to the office around 3:30 pm.  I felt so bad that I’d been gone so long.  Luckily I had sent a text to my husband and had him call my boss to tell him I was running late at the doctor.

So, that’s my very very very long story.  If you’ve made it through to the end, I commend you and would give you a medal if I could!  Honestly though, thank you to all of you who have supported me and given me advice through this whole adventure of TTC.  I’m not at the end yet, but after Monday, I’m feeling more and more confident that this could happen, I could be holding my baby come February 14th!!!

quick update…

Just a quick note (I’ll write more later, promise) – went to my ob/gyn today, and there is still a heartbeat!!  Little Blueberry is measuring 9wks on the nose and has a heart beat of 171bpm!!  I even got to HEAR the heart beat for 2 seconds.  Most beautiful sound ever.  I’ll post more about the whole marathon of a 3 1/2 hour appointment later, but for now – I’m exstatic.

#*@%&# insurance…

Yup…my insurance, which is normally fantabulous (seriously, I think they just paid out close to $2000 for me last month…and I didn’t have to pay anything but co-pay) really pissed me off today.

When I had my beta tests, they also checked my progesterone levels.  They were low both times (10.3 and 11.4).  When I went in to see the MFM doctor for my ultrasounds I asked him about this and told him I had some left over prog from my last IUI.  He suggested I take it and when I run out to get a new RX from my ob/gyn.  Okey dokey!  I thought I had about 2 weeks worth, enough to get me to my appointment (which is next Monday, fingers crossed) and then get the new RX then.

Did you know that if you have 21 pills and take 2/day, that’s only 10 days worth, not 14??  Yeah, I didn’t either!  However, maybe you don’t suck at math as much as I do – I mean really, I suck at math.

So, once I realized my error, it was this past Friday.  I didn’t get time to call during the day, so I left an after hours message, hoping they would get back to me at least by Monday, as I would run out on Tuesday.  Monday came and went, no phone call.  I think, “well, maybe they were closed Monday due to the holiday.  I’ll give them Tuesday.”  So, yesterday came and went – no phone call.  Getting pretty frustrated, as they always call me back!  So, I took my last pill last night and hoped it would all work out today.  Left a VM for the nurse at 9 am (knowing my doctor would not be working today, but hoping someone could give me the RX anyway…).

I get a call back relatively quickly.  Give them the name, amount and the location of my Target pharmacy.  Done!  No problem!  Figure I’ll run to Target over lunch and pick it up!  Great!

Well, about 2 hrs later, Target calls.  They tell me that they just got my prescription, but that my insurance does not cover any of the cost and it’s going to be $437 – WHAT THE &#)(&)%(@!!!!  Not only that, but they didn’t even have that medicine in stock and would have to order it.  I was livid to say the least.  Call the nurse back right away and she actually answered the phone instead of VM.  I told her the situation, asked if there was a generic?  She had put in a RX for 30 day supply.  We decide she will call Target and see if they can get a generic.

I call my wonderful, loving husband.  I think he had a small heart attack  when I told him how much money they wanted.  I remembered that when we got this last batch of progesterone, it was at a smaller pharmacy that had it in stock.  He agreed to track down the name of it, and we decided to just get a 10 day supply to get me through until my appointment and then go from there.   I decide to also call my insurance company and see what the heck is up.

I call them.  Here is the conversation:

Me: I’m trying to get a RX that I very much need and I’ve been told there is no coverage for it and I’d like to know why.

Insurance Guy: Let me look that up.

***on hold***

Insurance Guy: Yes, it looks like there is 0% coverage on that particular RX

Me: I know, I want to know why.  I’ve had it before and it wasn’t covered then as it was part of IF treatments, which are not covered – but this is for a pregnancy and prescribed by my ob/gyn.

Insurance Guy: It doesn’t give a reason why, just that it’s not covered.

Me: *deep breath*  Okay, this is very frustrating.  I need this medication.  If I don’t get it, my baby will die – I’ve already lost one pregnancy when I stopped taking this due to cost.  I don’t have the money for it.

Insurance Guy:  Well, in that case, would you like to file an appeal?  I can send you the forms and you fill out your reason and can even get your doctor to sign it.  It’ll take about 2 weeks.

Me: That will be too late.  Thank you. *click*

I know it wasn’t this guys fault, but I just get really flustered and angry when stuff like this happens – when I have no control over something this important.  It’s easier to just hang up on them rather than releasing the fury.

So, plan 2.  Justin does manage to find the name and address of the other pharmacy.  I call my doctors office back, and leave a message with the name and address, tell them just to order 10 days worth and we’ll figure the rest out later.

About 20 minutes later the new wonderful pharmacy calls me back and says they have my RX and when can I come pick it up?

Me: Well, I have a question first.  How much will it cost?

Lovely Pharmacy Man: Well, let me ask you a question, do you have any insurance I should know about?

Me: I do, but they’re not covering any of it, bastards (I didn’t say the last part, just thought it.)

Lovely Pharmacy Man: Okay then, when I’ve already enrolled you in our discount insurance program.  It dosen’t cost you anything, just saves you money.  So, it would normally be $150 but with the discount it’ll be $124.

Me: Thank you!  I’ll be there during my lunch hour!

So, still kinda spendy, but no where NEAR the Target price, even for the 10 day supply!  I remember liking this pharmacy a lot last time we went there.  It’s just a small little building, and all they do is RX’s and over the counter stuff – nothing else.  They are always very helpful and friendly as well.  I may have to go there more often.

So – that was a very long tale.  Basically it boils down to my insurance screwed me over and I love this new pharmacy.  I’m also very happy again with my switch to the new ob/gyn.  It’s hard to get an appointment with her, but she and her staff are always helpful and willing to work with me.  Thank you!  Oh, and if you’re in Chicago and want a new pharmacy, let me know and I’ll give you the hook up.

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