in the trenches…

It’s CD-19.  I’m still here, but as many have said before and will say again, this part of the TTC process, the wait until the Big O, there’s not much to say or report.  I’m truckin’ along, in the trenches of the wait until ovulation.  It should be here in the next week or so.  The OPK lines are getting darker.  I’ve also been using the Fertile Microscope that I won from Busted Kate.   It’s much easier and nicer to use than peeing on sticks, but I’m still using the sticks as extra back up since this is my first cycle with the microscope…want to make sure I don’t miss it trying to decide “is this ferning or is it just spots?”

I’ve been keeping up with you all, despite not saying much myself.  I’ve not been on Twitter for about a week.  Just haven’t felt inclined to go…I’ll be back at some point.  I’m surprisingly relaxed about the process right now.  I think that has a lot to do with keeping busy.  I’ve been reading a lot (almost done with the Sookie Stackhouse series…), hanging out with friends and generally just trying to have a great time and enjoy what I have – it’s been pretty great.  I’m ready to get out of the TTC slump and get back to my normal happy self, though I know I’ll never be the person I was before all of this, I don’t think anyone could be.  This journey changes you.  The disappointment, the loss, the grief and pain – but I need to find my happy again, and that’s what I’ve been doing.

Of course, this is all well and good until I see that pregnant belly walking by, or hear yet another pregnancy announcement, then I have my moment of self pity and sadness – but I’m trying to get better about that.

So for now, I just keep living and hoping.

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the big o & twitter…

So today it looks like I got a +OPK (finally, I’m on CD-26)!!  I think…it’s hard to tell sometimes, but it’s the darkest it’s been all cycle.  On my last cycle my +OPK was not as dark as the test line, but that cycle I got pregnant going by that, so I’m going to say that today is the day, or at least, the start of my fertile time!  I’ll keep watching my temps and test for a few more days to see if it gets darker or lighter…

In other news, I’m starting a campaign of sorts on Twitter today.  I’ve found an awesome community of IF tweeps (?), tweeters (?), twitterers (?)…anyway, a lot of them are people that I follow on their blogs, but with twitter there is an instant support network when things go good or bad in the IF life…If you’re not on Twitter, you can ignore this appeal (or join to help!).  If you ARE on Twitter, I’m trying to get the word #infertility trending today.  All you have to do is tweet something and add the word #infertility with the little hash tag/number sign thing-y.  I’d love to bring some more awareness to the world about infertility and all the crap we have to go through!  If you can help, that’d be awesome!

Hope you are all well and that your cycles, pregnancies and/or new babies are going great!

giveaway…

Are you sick of peeing on sticks?  I know I am!  That’s why I’ve entered the giveaway at Busted Plumbing (on her review’s page)!!

She is giving away a Fertile Focus made by Fairhaven Health.  For less then the cost of a MONTH’S worth of OPK’s that you have to pee on, you get a Fertile Focus that you can reuse FOREVER!!!  It looks really interesting, and I’m hoping I win the giveaway!

Swing over and enter!

quick update…

It’s CD14.  Nothing new to really report.  I started OPK’s this morning.  1st one is negative, though there was a faint line, so I guess it should be here soon!  Still waiting to hear from the MFM doc.  He said it’d be about 2 weeks for results and it’s only been 1.

If you have a moment, please swing over to Pitter Patter and offer your condolences to Clare and Mr. T who just found out that they lost their 1st pregnancy at 8 wks.  It’s heart breaking when a fellow IF sister looses a child.  It’s not enough that we have to go through the battle of getting pregnant, but to have so many losses among us is just cruel.

huh, would you look at that…

Yup…that’s a BBT/Ovulation chart, and guess what it shows???  OVULATION!!!  And a temp spike afterward!  I can’t believe it!!!  According to Fertility Friend I have a “good” chance at conception based on the info.  Of course, that’s not taking into account that I rarely if ever have a “good” chance at conception, but just the fact that this seems to prove that I can indeed ovulate (with the help of my new BFF, Metformin) is a major feat in and of itself!!  Huzzah!

My last post with the OPK help needed seems to have been the best O day.  That was as dark as the line got and with the temperature spike now, I’ve stopped using the OPK’s (also the last 2 days the line has gotten much lighter).  Granted, the hubby and I weren’t too good with the BDing this month (mostly my fault) so I’m not expecting anything to come of this, but there’s always next cycle!  Folks – this could really work!!!!!  I’m can’t even tell you how excited I am about this right now!  When I tried charting in the past, my temps were all over the place, not to mention there was never any spike or drop in temp at any point other than the daily up and downs.  This was a MUCH better cycle!  Again I say, HUZZAH!!

your eyes needed…

Since this is the first time I’ve used OPK’s, I’m not entirely sure when it’s a positive and when it’s a negative.  I’ve been using OPK’s since CD-11.  Just over the past few days I’ve started to notice that there IS a second line on the test, but I know with these the line is to be as dark or darker than the control – so I need your eyes.  I took 2 different pictures of the OPK this morning with 2 different light settings.  Can you help me read it?

From what I can see, it’s not quite a positive yet, but it seems REALLY close!  CD-23 and Ovulation?  I hope that’s not too late in the game!  Either way, DH – prepare for some BDing this weekend!

um…okay…

So just got back from my gynecologist to discuss taking Metformin (or as DH calls it “metrosexual”) for my PCOS.  shockConversation went like this:

DrT: How are you?

Me: Good.  You?

DrT: Good.  So what can I do for you?

Me: Well, I’ve been going to FCI and they’ve diagnosed me with PCOS for the past 2 years.  I’ve read and heard from people that Metformin is commonly prescribed for PCOS so I wanted to talk to you about possibly going on that.

DrT: Sure, I can do that for you.

Yup…it was that painless!  Actually, she was pretty surprised and shocked that my fertility clinic never prescribed Metformin to me after the PCOS diagnosis.  Needless to say, I have been shocked and surprised by that as well!  She also decided since I was over due for my pap and check up to do that today too.  Usually I have some time to mentally prepare for that, but all went fine.

Okay, but here’s the kicker – she gave me Clomid too!!  What the…what do I do with that??  I’ve read putting Met and Clo together often work better than either one on their own, but I don’t really know what to do with Clomid.  We skipped that step with the RE because we only had so much money to work with and we wanted to jump straight to IUI since it had a better chance of working (which turned out to be true on the 1st try, it just didn’t last).

So…Clomid vets, HELP!!!  All I know is that I’m supposed to take it on days 2-5 of my cycle.  She told me to start the Metformin right away.  I’m not going to have any monitoring for this, as her clinic is not set up for that.  She did give me a referral to an endocrinologist, but I’m pretty sure insurance wouldn’t cover that, so I can’t really go.  I’m going to turn to good ‘ole Dr. Google and WebMD, but any insight and help I could get from all of you would be great too.

Can I just take the drugs and then BBT and use OPK’s and go from that?  Should I do anything else?  I’m already working out 3x’s a week.  I really need to start eating better, so that’s on the schedule too, but anything else?  Pre-Seed lubricant?  I’ve heard that supposed to help…I know with Clomid it can dry up your cervical mucus, so I should probably use something to help.  According to DH, we’ll just have to, as he so elegantly put it “boink” every night (yeah, he’s at the bar with some friends right now…).