in the trenches…

It’s CD-19.  I’m still here, but as many have said before and will say again, this part of the TTC process, the wait until the Big O, there’s not much to say or report.  I’m truckin’ along, in the trenches of the wait until ovulation.  It should be here in the next week or so.  The OPK lines are getting darker.  I’ve also been using the Fertile Microscope that I won from Busted Kate.   It’s much easier and nicer to use than peeing on sticks, but I’m still using the sticks as extra back up since this is my first cycle with the microscope…want to make sure I don’t miss it trying to decide “is this ferning or is it just spots?”

I’ve been keeping up with you all, despite not saying much myself.  I’ve not been on Twitter for about a week.  Just haven’t felt inclined to go…I’ll be back at some point.  I’m surprisingly relaxed about the process right now.  I think that has a lot to do with keeping busy.  I’ve been reading a lot (almost done with the Sookie Stackhouse series…), hanging out with friends and generally just trying to have a great time and enjoy what I have – it’s been pretty great.  I’m ready to get out of the TTC slump and get back to my normal happy self, though I know I’ll never be the person I was before all of this, I don’t think anyone could be.  This journey changes you.  The disappointment, the loss, the grief and pain – but I need to find my happy again, and that’s what I’ve been doing.

Of course, this is all well and good until I see that pregnant belly walking by, or hear yet another pregnancy announcement, then I have my moment of self pity and sadness – but I’m trying to get better about that.

So for now, I just keep living and hoping.

let’s get this party started…

Just called in to my gynecologist. Set up an appointment for November 5th for a consultation (I’m very happy she had an opening so soon, she’s usually pretty booked up). I’m intending to ask her to put me on Metformin. I’ve just recently discovered (as in, yesterday) that Metformin is a common treatment for women with PCOS. That would have been nice to know 3 YEARS AGO!! Not that I’m angry…it’s just that I’ve been going to a fertility clinic for almost 2 years now and this drug was never even MENTIONED to me! Forget the fact that it could have regulated my cycles, or had me ovulating on my own w/o shots, or even the fact that it seems every other woman diagnosed as PCOS has been prescribed Metformin…forget all that. What MOST upsets me is that this drug is also given to women with PCOS in their 1st trimester to guard against miscarriage. If I had been given this drug, if I had even KNOWN about this drug, my little Zippy may have been born this month, instead of dying in March. That’s what pisses me off the most!

Hopefully my OB/GYN will listen to me and agree that I should try Metformin. The hubby and I talked last night and seemed to agree that we could do the Metformin alone for a few months and if nothing happens naturally, try IUI on Metformin one more time at our fertility clinic. Either way, this is the first breath of hopeful air I’ve had all month and it feels good. Drowning in the darkness of depression is no fun. I much prefer the bobbing up and down in a sea of hopefulness – at least I’m not below water any more!

So – all you Metformin vets, I need your help! I’ve printed off the WebMD article that I linked to above, and also some articles that the blogger Birds and Squirrels linked to in her blog back in April (thanks again to Maybe Baby? for pointing that blog out).  This is all I have right now, but if there is any info you think would be helpful in pleading my case to my doctor, I’d very much appreciate it.  Even just your personal stories of using the drug and how it has helped you?  I’d take any advice/help you could offer!  Thanks!

twitter…

Hey all…it appears I’m slowly making my way back into the IF blog world…I’ve been sitting on the sidelines watching, but I’m getting close to being able to join the game. To that end, I’ve started a TTC twitter account. I have a Twitter account for myself, but decided that I want to keep the IF and normal life updates separate. It’s just easier to manage that way. If you have Twitter, I’d love for you to follow me: SomedayBabyT

Okay…that’s all for now. I also have my Twitter feed on the side of this blog, so if you don’t have Twitter, you can follow me that way. Okay…later.