It’s CD-19. I’m still here, but as many have said before and will say again, this part of the TTC process, the wait until the Big O, there’s not much to say or report. I’m truckin’ along, in the trenches of the wait until ovulation. It should be here in the next week or so. The OPK lines are getting darker. I’ve also been using the Fertile Microscope that I won from Busted Kate. It’s much easier and nicer to use than peeing on sticks, but I’m still using the sticks as extra back up since this is my first cycle with the microscope…want to make sure I don’t miss it trying to decide “is this ferning or is it just spots?”
I’ve been keeping up with you all, despite not saying much myself. I’ve not been on Twitter for about a week. Just haven’t felt inclined to go…I’ll be back at some point. I’m surprisingly relaxed about the process right now. I think that has a lot to do with keeping busy. I’ve been reading a lot (almost done with the Sookie Stackhouse series…), hanging out with friends and generally just trying to have a great time and enjoy what I have – it’s been pretty great. I’m ready to get out of the TTC slump and get back to my normal happy self, though I know I’ll never be the person I was before all of this, I don’t think anyone could be. This journey changes you. The disappointment, the loss, the grief and pain – but I need to find my happy again, and that’s what I’ve been doing.
Of course, this is all well and good until I see that pregnant belly walking by, or hear yet another pregnancy announcement, then I have my moment of self pity and sadness – but I’m trying to get better about that.
So for now, I just keep living and hoping.