in the trenches…

It’s CD-19.  I’m still here, but as many have said before and will say again, this part of the TTC process, the wait until the Big O, there’s not much to say or report.  I’m truckin’ along, in the trenches of the wait until ovulation.  It should be here in the next week or so.  The OPK lines are getting darker.  I’ve also been using the Fertile Microscope that I won from Busted Kate.   It’s much easier and nicer to use than peeing on sticks, but I’m still using the sticks as extra back up since this is my first cycle with the microscope…want to make sure I don’t miss it trying to decide “is this ferning or is it just spots?”

I’ve been keeping up with you all, despite not saying much myself.  I’ve not been on Twitter for about a week.  Just haven’t felt inclined to go…I’ll be back at some point.  I’m surprisingly relaxed about the process right now.  I think that has a lot to do with keeping busy.  I’ve been reading a lot (almost done with the Sookie Stackhouse series…), hanging out with friends and generally just trying to have a great time and enjoy what I have – it’s been pretty great.  I’m ready to get out of the TTC slump and get back to my normal happy self, though I know I’ll never be the person I was before all of this, I don’t think anyone could be.  This journey changes you.  The disappointment, the loss, the grief and pain – but I need to find my happy again, and that’s what I’ve been doing.

Of course, this is all well and good until I see that pregnant belly walking by, or hear yet another pregnancy announcement, then I have my moment of self pity and sadness – but I’m trying to get better about that.

So for now, I just keep living and hoping.

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giveaway…

Are you sick of peeing on sticks?  I know I am!  That’s why I’ve entered the giveaway at Busted Plumbing (on her review’s page)!!

She is giving away a Fertile Focus made by Fairhaven Health.  For less then the cost of a MONTH’S worth of OPK’s that you have to pee on, you get a Fertile Focus that you can reuse FOREVER!!!  It looks really interesting, and I’m hoping I win the giveaway!

Swing over and enter!

Blog Hop

MckLinky Blog Hop

Click here to enter your link and view the entire list of entered links…

Kate over at Busted Plumbing is starting and “Infertile Blog Hop”…come join in the fun!!  Click above to enter your name and blog, and then grab the code to add to your own blog.  It’s a way for the Infertile blogging community to meet each other and support one another.  Hope you’ll join in on the fun!

Oh, and if someone follows you/comments on your blog you’re supposed to do the same thing back for them.  I’m not sure how you can follow my blog, haven’t worked that out yet, but if you comment on mine, I’ll add you to my blogroll and comment back to you!

busted plumbing giveaway…

The lovely Ms Kate over at Busted Plumbing is doing an amazing giveaway! She is working with Circle + Bloom to give away an iPod shuffle preloaded with the Circle + Bloom program. I’ve been reading a bit about Circle + Bloom, and follow them on Twitter (and now on Facebook), but never thought of trying their products due to cost. However, if it works and I have a chance to try it free, I’m all for it! Take a look-sy at Kate’s “Reviews” section of her blog to read more about the products and the giveaway, and maybe even enter to win!

update and award…

So, after all the worry and wondering about how the DH and I could quietly do the BD while on an air mattress in the room next to our 7 yr old and 3 mo old nephew and niece (not to meniton my BIL and SIL, with the MIL in yet another room, and my 16 yr old niece across the house…) there was no need.  Yup, here I am at CD22 and still no signs of the big O.  I know, I know…this is my 1st cycle on Metformin and it can take up to 6+ months for it to start showing any signs of working, but a girl can still hope, right?  I had hoped that since it seemed that the Met helped to start my cycle in a somewhat timely manner that maybe it would help me Ovulate the first time as well.  I guess there’s still time, but I’m not holding my breath.

I’ve been doing the OPK’s since CD11.  Since I have no idea when I might ovulate, I just have to keep going with them I guess.  I’ve have a few days where there has been a very light + test line, but from what the test says, it’s supposed to be as dark as or darker than the control line.  We’re not there yet folks!  Hopefully I’ll start to get the hang of this and won’t have to waste so many of them in the future.  My current plans are to finish out this cycle, do one more on just the Met, and if that hasn’t worked yet I’ll do cycle #3 with Metformin and the Clomid that my doc gave me.

In other news, I got nominated for another award!  Thanks to Kate at Busted Plumbing (who, by the way, has an AMAZING new look to her blog).  I’ve been “lurking” Kate’s blog for a while, but through Twitter I’ve been following her more closely now and I’m happy to call her a blogg-y friend!

The rules for this award:

  • Put the Lemonade logo on your blog or within your post.
  • Nominate at least 10 blogs with great attitude or gratitude.
  • Link the nominees within your post.
  • Let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
  • Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award.

1) To my bestest friend, SusQ!!  Through all of my struggles with IF, and through everything else in life you’ve been there for me!  I’m so happy for you and your exciting news and that you’re starting to share it with the world.  I love you!

2) To Kate over at Waiting for Sunflower.  I’m so lucky to have “met” you through blogging!  I’m so glad that you are finding happiness again, and that your SONflower is a big part of that!  You and Jack are always in my thoughts!

3) To Kate over at Infertile Myrtle.  You’ve been another good blogg-y friend this year!  I’m so happy for you and your DH.  Only a few more weeks to go for you!

4) To Becca at Liberal Granola Girls Blog.  I’ve also been “lurking” at your blog this year, and now on Twitter as well!  I love your hope and optimism throughout all of the pain and stress of IF.  You give me inspiration!

5) To the Fertility Chick.  Your posts always bring a smile to my face.  It’s hard to find humor and hope in all of this crap, but you always manage to find it.

6) To Lea at All My Pretty Ones.  I’m so happy for you and your new foster daughter!  I know you’re going to be great with her, and fingers crossed that this could turn into something more!

7) To Amaprincess at The Road to Happily Ever After.  A new Twitter friend!  You always seem to have a good attitude, even in the midst of bad news.  I’ve been enjoying your IF Christmas Carols as well!

8 ) To the Fertility Guy at In the Name of the Father.  It’s nice to have the male perspective, and I know my DH enjoys reading your blog as well.  You and your lovely wife bring a bit of humor and levity to all the struggles we face.

9) To Tara at Broken Baby Making Machine.  Congrats to you on your wonderful news!  I’m so happy to any IFer who gets out of the cycle of BFN’s!  Wish you and your family all the best!

10) To Michelle at 2 of a Kind, Working on a Full House.  I’m glad that I found your blog this year.  You’ve been a great support to me and I always look forward to your next post!

Thanks to everyone else who has been a part of my online support system this year.  I don’t think I could have made it through without all of you!  It helps to have people out there who understand you, who can share the pain and struggle, and who can lift you up.  I feel blessed in this online community.