7w2d in limbo land…

So here I am…in the waiting game again!  It’s 25 days until my next doctors appointment.  I can’t believe I had to wait 4 WEEKS before seeing my doctor again.  It’s excruciating.  Add on top of that that I don’t have many symptoms (I never did with Declan, either).  I get very tired usually, I have to pee all the time, tender breasts, and heartburn if I don’t eat when I’m hungry.  But these all come in go.  Just last night I was worried because my boobs weren’t as sore as they have been, but luckily today that came back full force!  Also, I had noticed at the end of last week that I hadn’t had heartburn in a few days, but the next day I had it ALL day long!  I guess I just have to notice when things go away and then they come back!

I would give anything to be puking my guts out!  At least then I’d know that things are still moving along nicely in there!  All I can do is keep going, day by day and hope that on Feb 8th we see our Little Wiggle, moving around with a nice strong heartbeat!  I will hopefully be around 11 weeks that day and Little Wiggle should then be resembling a baby!  I can’t wait to see him/her again.

I think I’m more nervous about appointment #2 because with Declan, I never made it to that appointment.  I had to call about 5 days before that appointment and cancel.  The receptionist asked, “would you like to reschedule it for another time?”  Of course, I did need another appointment, but it was the post miscarriage check up.  That was heartbreaking all over again.

Last time I had a strong feeling that our little one was a boy.  That can never be confirmed, but I felt it in my heart.  This time, I’m not so sure.  I did that Chinese Gender calculator and it came up as a girl.  Last time it came up as a boy.  Who knows.  I may feel more strongly on the gender in a few weeks, but not right now.  Honestly, I don’t care what gender Little Wiggle is.  I’m happy either way, as long as my baby is happy and healthy that’s all that matters.  It’s just fun to try and guess!

I’m wondering if there will ever be a point in this pregnancy when I can relax and just know Little Wiggle will be with me in Late August/Early September.  My first thought is of course making it to the next appointment.  Then I thought if I can make it to the 2nd Trimester I’ll feel better and more confident.  Of course, I’ve unfortunately been reading blogs of those who have lost their little one’s late into pregnancy.  It’s so hard.  We fight so much to get to this point, and once we’re here we still have to wonder and worry if it’s going to work out.  I want this baby so badly.  I’m going to be an amazing mother, and my DH is going to be the best dad ever!  You hear that baby?  You have to come out and meet us with promises like that! 😀

I am trying to live by the “So far, so good” philosophy, and it’s pretty much working.  I do worry, but on the other hand, I know that I’m doing exactly what I need to do to make sure Little Wiggle is happy and comfy in there and getting what he/she needs.  Beyond that, I can’t really do anything else.  7w2d…we’ve come a long way baby, and we’re gonna go all the way!

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. K
    Jan 13, 2010 @ 21:02:06

    Symptoms come and go and it SUCKS because you never know if you should be reassured or scared. I think you have to take it one goal at a time for the rest of the pregnancy. The 11 week u/s. Then the second trimester. Then reaching 20 weeks, then 24 to viability, etc etc. you will make it through though! At 10 weeks you could rent the dopplers. I cannot tell you how much that thing has saved my life. Even now when I can feel him. If I don’t feel him move one day I freak out and its only the doppler that gives me any modicum of comfort.

    Its really sad to read of losses…. especially at “safe stages” in the pregnancy. Jack tells me not to read those blogs because they just frighten me, but I feel I have to because people held my hand when I was at my lowest…. but its a test of strength for me because it is very sad for me to see and because you always wonder if it will happen to you.

    Sigh. Anyways- hang in there, you’re doing great. One day at a time! You will get there!

    Reply

  2. 21reena
    Jan 14, 2010 @ 01:42:14

    having to wait that long for your next apt stinks…but i can’t wait for you to see your Little Wiggle!

    Reply

  3. katery
    Jan 14, 2010 @ 20:44:57

    well, i didn’t have any pregnancy symptoms at all and here i am almost nine months pregnant, so don;t worry too much about symptoms, although i know it’s hard not to. i started feeling a little more relaxed about my pregnancy somewhere around six or seven months, i hope for your sake you are able to relax a little sooner than that!

    Reply

    • meggomae
      Jan 14, 2010 @ 21:31:39

      Thanks…it does help to have you all here to talk with and give me advice! I actually think I’m doing pretty good and not letting myself get stressed. Like I said, I know I’m doing all I can do to make this baby a healthy one…beyond that it’s up to nature! But – that doesn’t mean I still don’t search for something to put my mind more at ease! 😀

      Reply

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