a practice run…

That’s apparently what my first pregnancy was, according to my lab tech…a practice run.

Went in today for 3rd blood woork and u/s. Got the chatty tech (I hate getting her. She’s good, but I don’t really want to sit there and talk about how beautiful my lining is). Anyway, She’s measuring and chatting along and here was where the conversation (by conversation I mean her talking at me while I’m trying to concentrate on not jumping out of the stirrups every time she digs the wand in) turns:

Tech: We’re just looking for one good follicle, that’s all you need.
Me: Mmm…(sure lady, just do your thing and get me on to the blood people)
Tech: You’ve been pregnant before right.
Me: Yes (thanks for continually bringing that up. I really love talking about my lost child)
Tech: How many follicles did you have for that?
Me: I don’t recall (seriously, let’s just get this over with!)
Tech: Well, let’s try and get you that way again. That was your practice run!
Me: *blankly stares at tech and blinks*

WHAT THE F*CK?!?!?!?!?! In what twisted time/place would it EVER be okay to say something like that to a woman who had lost a child? Let alone in a freakin’ INFERTILITY CLINIC!!!!!!! Am I wrong here? Am I over reacting?? I don’t think so. Never, never, EVER call my child a practice run!!!!!! I was so shocked that she had said that, I didn’t even know what to do. I went into the restroom to get redressed and I just teared up. I wish I would have had the presence of mind to say something to her. Anything:

“I’m sorry? What did you just call my child? I don’t think so!”
“A practice run? A PRACTICE RUN?? I’ll show you a practice run!!!”
“Excuse me, could you never, ever refer to a lost baby as a practice run…ever…to anyone?”

You know, something like that. Then, I’m already in a bad mood from that and go up to the sign out counter. This is where break downs usually happen, because it’s where the money handling is done. We have a credit on our account due to a medical loan we got. This credit is dwindling, but there should be a bit left in there. Apparently however, it take 2 weeks for charges to be processed and for the actual amount of our credit to show up on our forms at the office. The lady at the desk said, “I can’t tell how much is in there, and probably won’t for 2 weeks. I suggest you pay us now and then we can reimburse you.” As if it’s that easy! We just don’t have the spare money to be throwing around and waiting for a reimbursement check that may never come. The whole point of this loan was to have money there so we didn’t have to deal with this sh*t every time we go in. It was supposed to relieve our stress, not cause more. I asked if I could call the billing dept. and get an accurate count. “You could call them, but they may not know until Monday, and everything may not have been processed yet.” Great. The billing dept. doesn’t even know what’s going on. Great system they have working here! I was told that the clinic would always be able to tell what my credit on my account was. So much for that. So now I have to go through the headache calling the billing dept, explaining my whole situation to the receptionist, hopefully get transferred to someone who can understand my dilemma, and explain it all to them again! I usually have to go through this about 3 or 4 time before I get someone who can actually help me. I have a guy who helped me last time. He gave me his name and told me to ask for him if we ever have trouble. Thanks guy…but I don’t remember your name. Crap. Did I blog about him? I hope…I’ll have to go back through my archives and see if I listed his name.

Of course, the very helpful receptionist at the billing dept always starts with one question. “What insurance company do you use?” Um…yeah. I tell her the name of my company, but that the rep for them can’t help me, as my insurance doesn’t cover anything, and that’s not what this is about anyway. Then she gets flustered and has no idea who to transfer me to. You’d think she’d be used to dealing with women with no IF insurance. I’m certainly not the ONLY one at that clinic paying out of pocket! Am I? No…I know I’m not.

So…I left the clinic and drove to work. As usual on appointment days, I got here an hour early. We have to schedule early morning appointments so I don’t miss any more work that is absolutely necessary. I spoke with my boss about why I’d been missing so much (which I REALLY didn’t want to do) because he had made a comment about it at one point. So now, apparently for my IUI days, he wants me to take them as personal days. Too bad I’m out now. So, instead of resting and letting the little swimmers do there thing, I will have to come in to work. Damn.

Anyway…got off track there for a second. So, I got to work an hour early. Upset and crying. I decided that I couldn’t just sit in my office and read for the hour. I went for a walk. A very LONG walk. About 2 miles actually. I needed to just clear my head. It was great – except I was wearing bad shoes for urban hiking and now I’ve given myself blisters and rubbed the skin off one spot on the top of my foot. But I’m glad I took the walk. I needed it.

So…that’s my day. I’ll update when I hear from the nurse as to the next step of this whole damn process.

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kate
    Sep 11, 2009 @ 19:49:47

    I think what the tech did was so horrible that you need to tell her at some point that what she said was wrong, and quite frankly, I might even tell her superior. There is no two ways about it. I know techs have said stupid shit to me too like implying my m/c was my fault because I didn’t wait six months (even though no one told me to wait six months and are you a fucking doctor?), and other things, but calling your child a practice run is bulilshit and she likely says stupid shit like this to other people, and she needs to be reprimanded either by you personally, or by her superior. That is a horrible harsh thing to say.

    I’m so sorry about the financial issues you’re coming across. As if you need that to deal with on top of everything else. Please hang in there and take care of yourself- this is overwhelming for anyone.


    • meggomae
      Sep 11, 2009 @ 20:29:32

      She says stuff like that all the time…this is not the first time I’ve walked out of her stirrups feeling upset by what she said. The difficult part is that I know she’s not saying it to be mean. She’s trying to be upbeat and helpful, to get her patients in a good frame of mind, and I know she doesn’t that what she’s saying is hurtful – but it really is. She’s a very good tech, she just needs to cut back on the conversation before it goes too far, like today.


  2. katery
    Sep 13, 2009 @ 13:49:51

    yuck, i hate dealing with billing departments. i would definitely consider talking to someone at the office about what the tech said to you, she should probably know that she shouldn’t say things like that to people who have lost pregnancies.


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