Here we go again…

Just got the call.  I take the Ovadril tonight and we have IUI tomorrow (Tuesday) and Wednesday.  YAY!  YIKES!  AHHHH!!  HUZZAH!!!  WHOA!!

Um, yeah…mixed feelings.  VERY VERY VERY FREAKIN happy that this cycle worked and we go to IUI.  I can’t believe it.  VERY VERY VERY FREAKING scared it won’t work this time.  We’ve had 1 IUI cycle so far.  It worked.  Now we’re on number 2.  Can it work again right away?  What if it dosen’t?  My hopes are so high, my hope are so low.  I don’t know what to think or what to do.  Is there anything I can do?  If I eat lots of leafy greens and drink milk and water and avoid all bad food and excersize tonight, will that garuntee a success (I know it won’t, I’m not stupid, but these are the things that go through your head!)???  Oi vey…I’m so nervous/scared/excited about tomorrow and Wednesday.  Please help!  Offer advice.  Offer encouragement…I don’t know.  I need something here!  I’m gonna go crazy until the end of the month when we’ll find out if it worked.  I don’t even want to think about what happens if it dosen’t.  I know what happens.  We’re done.  Out of money, out of hope.  I hate to think like that, but that’s kinda the deal here.  Last time we did IUI, we were in the same boat.  About enough money for a try and a half (which is what we did and it worked).  This time, about enough money for a try.  Here we go!

On the other hand, I can’t imagine what will happen if it does work.  I can’t even wrap my mind about it working again.  I lost my Zippy (what we called our little baby, Zippy the Zygote).  Can I possible have the chance at another child?  Does life work that way?  Does lightening strike twice??  God I hope so.  Please, please, please.



2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. susq
    Jun 16, 2009 @ 02:39:01

    E and I are both praying for you guys through these next tense few weeks. Whatever happens I’m happy that you have each other. You said is so perfectly the post before this one and I love that picture of you guys. It’s great to know that whatever happens you’ll be walking into the future hand in hand together! (and I’ll be there to listen and cheer you on, promise!)
    Love ya, keep me updated!!!

    p.s. we’ll be neighbors in officially ONE month 🙂


  2. And So it Goes (AshaAnn)
    Jun 20, 2009 @ 17:14:14

    ARggh. I can just feel the mixture of hope and angst in every word of your post. Cheering you on, and waiting with you through the process.


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