Went in AGAIN for blood and u/s. Things looking good. Up to 14 1/2! 150 dose for tonight, Sat and Sun. Back on Monday. If everything looks good Monday we can probably plan for IUI on Tuesday and Wednesday!!!!!!! I’m nervous, excited, worried, hopeful, and have zero hope all at the same time. Last time we did this I went in with little to no hope of it working. When I got the call that I was indeed pregnant I was so shocked I could barely speak. I was at work. After the call I ran to the bathroom and cried and prayed in thankfulness. Then I called my husband. I couldn’t wait to tell him in person.
This time I’m more hopeful, because I know it can work. I hate to be hopeful going in though, because when it inevitable doesn’t work I’ll be crushed. The TWW between IUI and blood test is excruciating, as all TWW are (you all know!!). It’ll help that we’ll be moving during that time (hurray, I won’t have to lift heavy things!) and I’ll be busy putting together a new home, so at least I’ll have something to keep me occupied. Sadly though, that 2nd bedroom we fought for because we were supposed to have a baby in October will now be filled with office stuff and overflow storage. Instead of finally being able to put together a nursery I’ll be setting up my old desk and trinkets. Not quite what I was hoping for moving in, but there you go. But maybe….just maybe….we’ll be able to do a nursery at some point in the near future? I know – very dangerous to think like that. I tend to like to prepare for the worst. It makes the blow a bit less – a BIT less – when it does come. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see. I think IF should be renamed: Wait And See. That’s what the whole struggle is. Wait and see if get AF. Wait and see if the dosage is right. Wait and see if you’ve ovulated. Wait and see if you’ll be able to do a procedure, wait and see if it worked…then start the whole process over again. Bah – it’s frustrating! This is why I named this blog “The Long And Winding Road…” not just in tribute to the best band ever (The Beatles) but also because that’s what it is. The pic above is from my wedding day. I’ve always called this picture in my head “The Long And Winding Road”. Little did I know then, almost 4 years ago what that would really mean! I love my husband very much and if we have to be on this journey, I’m glad it’s him that I’m on it with.