and now, the rest of the story…
14 Jul 2010 10 Comments
in Pregnancy Tags: 9w2d, antenatal, baby picture, blood work, blueberry, MFM, OB/GYN, ultra sound
Before I tell the whole doctor’s appointment fiasco story, I just want to brag a bit – I got my first round of morning sickness today!!! I know, not something you normally want to brag about, but I’ve never had it before. I thought maybe I never would – maybe I just needed to get further on in pregnancy to have it. It makes me feel awful, but on the other hand, it makes me happy, because maybe – just maybe it means I’m going to make it 
Woke up about 4 am and the whole world was spinning! I’ve never been so dizzy in my life! I tried to lay still on my back for a bit and it calmed down a little, so I went to turn on my side – bad idea jeans. I sat up and hubby asked if I was okay. I said “I think I am going to throw up” he said, “I’ll go get the bucket.” Good man. I then had him walk me to the bathroom (so I wouldn’t fall over) because of course, I had to pee again. Took the bucket with me. Once I felt a bit better he walked me back to bed and I spent the rest of the night lying still on my back, trying to sleep when I could. By morning the dizziness was less and my tummy felt better.
I wanted to stay home, but knew I needed to go to work, because I already missed most of Monday, and I’m taking 1/2 of Friday and all of next Monday off to go up to Minnesota to see my first Twins game at the new Target Field!!! So, I had hubby drive me in to work. It wasn’t the best ride, got nauseous again, but I was pretty okay until we turned off Lake Shore Drive and onto a very bumpy, pot hole filled street. Then, I made him pull over and grab a bucket from the trunk. He got me to work and I ran in to the bathroom while he went to the store to get me snacks and lunch.
I haven’t actually thrown up yet, but it’s been very very close. I’m keeping my bucket by my desk all day, and trying not to make sudden movements, as I’m still pretty dizzy.
So that’s my sickness story…on to my doctor visit (this is going to be a long post – sorry. Maybe a nice little picture will help break up the longness of the post!)
Here is my little one at 9 weeks!! I’ll get into the story of the ultrasound in a bit here.
So my first prenatal appointment with my ob/gyn was this Monday. My appointment was at 11:45, so I left work at 11 and go there a bit early. Luckily they got me in pretty quick. Sat through the long family & medical history questions from the nurse. I noticed that the u/s machine was not in the room so I asked if Dr. D was going to do one, since I have a clot next to the baby in my uterus. The nurse said, in that case yes, she probably would want to do an ultrasound. So she had me dress in the lovely, very flattering hospital gown and cover in a sheet. An actual sheet, not a paper one! My MFM has real sheets too – and they’re huge! I never felt covered when I had to use the paper ones!
Anyway, Dr. D comes in and tells me that their u/s machine broke the other day and she wouldn’t be able to do an u/s. My heart dropped. I’d been anticipating this appointment to make sure my baby was still okay and the little heart was beating away. She said there was another office in the building that did u/s and she would try to squeeze me in there, but it may not be the same day. I told her to try anyway.
Then, I had to go through more med. history questions with her, have a breast exam and a pelvic exam (complete with speculum, yay…). She said all looked good and that my cervix was closed, a good sign. I was happy about that. I also asked her about some pain I’d been having on the left side, sort of a sharp, crampy feeling I get sometimes, but only on the left. She said that was okay, because it’s where the cyst was (what cyst? Do I have that too, or is that the clot? Of course, I didn’t ask because I think of these things later…) and the pain was actually good, because it means it’s doing what it’s supposed to do. During my exam she pressed around and found the exact spot where it was. OUCH! So I ask a bunch more questions, get refill RX’s for progesterone (to get me to week 10 when the placenta takes over) and Metformin (to get me to the 2nd Trimester, when I will stop that).
She then leaves to try and get an u/s appointment for me and to get the blood work form for me I’ll need to do for them. I was lucky that day, because she said they could get me in at 2 pm. I took it immediately (keep in mind, I left at 11, so I hadn’t had lunch yet). I also get my blood work form, and 3 pick requisition forms for the office with the u/s machine. The first is for the u/s appointment that day, the 2nd is to see their MFM doctor (I’m switching insurance in September and the new one doesn’t cover my lovely MFM doc, which makes me very sad), and the 3rd is for 12 week screening.
So, I have to head downstairs (the ob is in a huge medical building, attached to a hospital) to reception and “check in” to go to the Antenatal Office for the u/s. I literally checked in as an outpatient – had to wear a hospital bracelet and everything! Very strange. They tell me I can go up to the office right away, even though my appointment isn’t for another hour. I head up, check in and they bring me back about 15 min later – early again!
So, time for the ultrasound. You can guess, I’m terribly nervous at this point. I’ve never made it to a 2nd ultrasound. I knew I should be 9 weeks, and I’ve never made it that far either. To my surprise I didn’t have to do the transvaginal u/s with Wandy! It was on top of my tummy, yay! Of course, you have to have a full bladder for that, and they push REALLY hard, so it was uncomfortable, but at least on the outside instead of inside. My tech was super nice, and actually knew my old MFM because he used to work in there office. Her name was Mary.
She fires up the machine and starts the u/s. I’m holding my breath the whole time. Usually, if they don’t say something soon after it starts, I know it’s bad news. She waited about 20 seconds, which were the longest of my life – then turned the screen:
Mary: You see the fluttering little heart?
Me: There is still a heartbeat?
Mary: Yes there is!
Me: *starts to cry and sniffle*
She immediately grabbed the tissue box and handed me one and held my hand. I told her I’ve never gotten this far before. I was pretty much bawling at this point. It was so wonderful and beautiful. Next she told me we could try to hear the heartbeat, though it’d be just a short 2 seconds so to listen close. She cranked up the volume and there it was. 2 perfect, beautiful little beats. The tears started up again, as I had never heard my baby’s heartbeat before. She told me it was a great 171 bpm. She did some more measurements and checked on the clot and then it was over. She printed me some pictures, too I asked about the clot and she said based on the notes from my old MFM doc, it looked to be about the same size. I was a bit upset about that, as I’ve lost so much old blood over the past 3 weeks, I was so hopeful it would be gone, or at least smaller! I’d even stopped spotting over the past week! No luck though.
So, I get all the goopy gel off (well, as much as I could anyway) and then ask her where I go to make the appointment for my 2nd pink slip of paper. She looked at it and wasn’t sure what it was for. She told me to stay in the room and she’d figure it out for me. Seriously, this place was great! She came back about 5 min later and said it was for a consult with the MFM about my blood tests and that if I wanted the MFM doc could see me in a few minutes. I figured, might as well get it done since I was there.
So, about 15 min in the waiting room and they called me back. I sat with the MFM nurse for a few minutes (she was super nice, too and we had a lot of personal conversation as well as medical) and answered some questions. She told me to wait a bit and the MFM would be ready for me. She offered me some juice while I waited which I jumped on because I was starving. Finally get in to see the doctor and it was really just a rehashing of what I already knew. She just explained what the MTHFR diagnosis meant and why I had been put on the extra folic acid and baby aspirin. It seemed kind of silly that I had to meet with her since I already knew all the info, but it was nice to meet here, as I’m sure I’ll be seeing her again.
Next, I went and made my appointment for the 1st Trimester screening (no amnio, I don’t want to do that at all, but we’ll do the u/s and bloodwork). So I go back to there office on Aug 5th. I’ll be about 12.5 wks by then. Glad I don’t have to wait until my next ob appointment to see the baby again (which is Aug 16th).
Finally, I went back up the elevator to finally do the blood work for my ob. I got into my car at 3pm and was back to the office around 3:30 pm. I felt so bad that I’d been gone so long. Luckily I had sent a text to my husband and had him call my boss to tell him I was running late at the doctor.
So, that’s my very very very long story. If you’ve made it through to the end, I commend you and would give you a medal if I could! Honestly though, thank you to all of you who have supported me and given me advice through this whole adventure of TTC. I’m not at the end yet, but after Monday, I’m feeling more and more confident that this could happen, I could be holding my baby come February 14th!!!
quick update…
12 Jul 2010 7 Comments
in Pregnancy Tags: 9w0d, heart beat, OB/GYN, Pregnancy
Just a quick note (I’ll write more later, promise) – went to my ob/gyn today, and there is still a heartbeat!! Little Blueberry is measuring 9wks on the nose and has a heart beat of 171bpm!! I even got to HEAR the heart beat for 2 seconds. Most beautiful sound ever. I’ll post more about the whole marathon of a 3 1/2 hour appointment later, but for now – I’m exstatic.
#*@%&# insurance…
07 Jul 2010 4 Comments
in Medicine, Pregnancy Tags: Braun Pharmacy-Chicago, insurance, money woes, OB/GYN, prescription, progesteron, Target
Yup…my insurance, which is normally fantabulous (seriously, I think they just paid out close to $2000 for me last month…and I didn’t have to pay anything but co-pay) really pissed me off today.
When I had my beta tests, they also checked my progesterone levels. They were low both times (10.3 and 11.4). When I went in to see the MFM doctor for my ultrasounds I asked him about this and told him I had some left over prog from my last IUI. He suggested I take it and when I run out to get a new RX from my ob/gyn. Okey dokey! I thought I had about 2 weeks worth, enough to get me to my appointment (which is next Monday, fingers crossed) and then get the new RX then.
Did you know that if you have 21 pills and take 2/day, that’s only 10 days worth, not 14?? Yeah, I didn’t either! However, maybe you don’t suck at math as much as I do – I mean really, I suck at math.
So, once I realized my error, it was this past Friday. I didn’t get time to call during the day, so I left an after hours message, hoping they would get back to me at least by Monday, as I would run out on Tuesday. Monday came and went, no phone call. I think, “well, maybe they were closed Monday due to the holiday. I’ll give them Tuesday.” So, yesterday came and went – no phone call. Getting pretty frustrated, as they always call me back! So, I took my last pill last night and hoped it would all work out today. Left a VM for the nurse at 9 am (knowing my doctor would not be working today, but hoping someone could give me the RX anyway…).
I get a call back relatively quickly. Give them the name, amount and the location of my Target pharmacy. Done! No problem! Figure I’ll run to Target over lunch and pick it up! Great!
Well, about 2 hrs later, Target calls. They tell me that they just got my prescription, but that my insurance does not cover any of the cost and it’s going to be $437 – WHAT THE &#)(&)%(@!!!! Not only that, but they didn’t even have that medicine in stock and would have to order it. I was livid to say the least. Call the nurse back right away and she actually answered the phone instead of VM. I told her the situation, asked if there was a generic? She had put in a RX for 30 day supply. We decide she will call Target and see if they can get a generic.
I call my wonderful, loving husband. I think he had a small heart attack when I told him how much money they wanted. I remembered that when we got this last batch of progesterone, it was at a smaller pharmacy that had it in stock. He agreed to track down the name of it, and we decided to just get a 10 day supply to get me through until my appointment and then go from there. I decide to also call my insurance company and see what the heck is up.
I call them. Here is the conversation:
Me: I’m trying to get a RX that I very much need and I’ve been told there is no coverage for it and I’d like to know why.
Insurance Guy: Let me look that up.
***on hold***
Insurance Guy: Yes, it looks like there is 0% coverage on that particular RX
Me: I know, I want to know why. I’ve had it before and it wasn’t covered then as it was part of IF treatments, which are not covered – but this is for a pregnancy and prescribed by my ob/gyn.
Insurance Guy: It doesn’t give a reason why, just that it’s not covered.
Me: *deep breath* Okay, this is very frustrating. I need this medication. If I don’t get it, my baby will die – I’ve already lost one pregnancy when I stopped taking this due to cost. I don’t have the money for it.
Insurance Guy: Well, in that case, would you like to file an appeal? I can send you the forms and you fill out your reason and can even get your doctor to sign it. It’ll take about 2 weeks.
Me: That will be too late. Thank you. *click*
I know it wasn’t this guys fault, but I just get really flustered and angry when stuff like this happens – when I have no control over something this important. It’s easier to just hang up on them rather than releasing the fury.
So, plan 2. Justin does manage to find the name and address of the other pharmacy. I call my doctors office back, and leave a message with the name and address, tell them just to order 10 days worth and we’ll figure the rest out later.
About 20 minutes later the new wonderful pharmacy calls me back and says they have my RX and when can I come pick it up?
Me: Well, I have a question first. How much will it cost?
Lovely Pharmacy Man: Well, let me ask you a question, do you have any insurance I should know about?
Me: I do, but they’re not covering any of it, bastards (I didn’t say the last part, just thought it.)
Lovely Pharmacy Man: Okay then, when I’ve already enrolled you in our discount insurance program. It dosen’t cost you anything, just saves you money. So, it would normally be $150 but with the discount it’ll be $124.
Me: Thank you! I’ll be there during my lunch hour!
So, still kinda spendy, but no where NEAR the Target price, even for the 10 day supply! I remember liking this pharmacy a lot last time we went there. It’s just a small little building, and all they do is RX’s and over the counter stuff – nothing else. They are always very helpful and friendly as well. I may have to go there more often.
So – that was a very long tale. Basically it boils down to my insurance screwed me over and I love this new pharmacy. I’m also very happy again with my switch to the new ob/gyn. It’s hard to get an appointment with her, but she and her staff are always helpful and willing to work with me. Thank you! Oh, and if you’re in Chicago and want a new pharmacy, let me know and I’ll give you the hook up.
houston, we have a…
25 Jun 2010 8 Comments
in Pregnancy Tags: 6w5d, blood clot, heart beat, MFM, OB/GYN, Pregnancy, ultrasound
HEART BEAT!!
Yup – just got back from the doctor and there is indeed a tiny Thornburgh in there, with a 125 bpm heart beat, and measuring 6wks 5d.
However…there is a blood clot right next to the baby, about 1 in long. This is what was causing my bleeding. The MFM said there is nothing we can do about it. I’m just supposed to take it very easy, and check again in 1 month with another ultrasound. Luckily, I have my ob/gyn appointment on July 12th, so I’m hoping she will want to do an u/s then. Until then: REST REST REST! That is my NEW mantra!
I’m going to take a nap now, but I wanted to post the update quick. OH! If all goes well, my EDD is February 13th, 2010. Hopefully we can get there!
Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has sent me messages, comments and Twitter support. I love you all and this journey is a bit easier knowing I have you all with me. Thank you.
facing fear again…
21 Jun 2010 16 Comments
in Miscarriage, Pregnancy Tags: hope, loss, MFM, miscarriage, OB/GYN, Pregnancy, progesterone, ultrasound, waiting
On Sunday, June 6th I took a pregnancy test. It was positive. My first response? I broke into tear – I was terrified. Scared that I would again loose my baby again. Of course, I was happy, too, that I was pregnant again and had a chance, but the fear was there.
I called my MFM doctor on Monday, June 7th and set up a 1st ultrasound for June 25th. Called my ob/gyn and set up an appointment for July 12th (after lots of phone calls, being told I’d need to see a different doctor because she was booked up and talking directly with her nurse, that’s a whole different story that I’m not gonna go into right now though). Tuesday, June 8th I decided that it was too long of a wait and wanted to do some beta tests. I spoke with my ob doc and beta tests were set for that Thursday and Saturday.
Beta #1 (20 dpo) -1950
Beta #2 (22 dpo) – 3376
Good numbers right? I began to rest a bit easier, that I’d at least make it to my first appointment.
Monday, June 14th I woke up to spotting. Not much, just a bit on the TP, but enough to make my heart drop. Called my ob and she told me to move my MFM appointment up to the end of the week if possible, sent me in for a beta test that day. MFM appointment was switched to that Friday, the 18th.
Beta #3 (24 dpo) – 5999
Progesterone: 10.4
I was told that my progesterone was a bit low and to ask the MFM doctor about it at my appointment. I told the nurse over the phone that I still had some progesterone inserts from when I was going through treatments and asked if I should use those. She gave me a very definitive no, that I should ask the MFM doc what to do. Spotting continued throughout the week, but still very little, and no cramping.
Friday, I go to the MFM doctor for my first u/s…hoping that the baby is big enough to see a heartbeat, and that it even has a heartbeat. I’m guessing I’m about 6wks (based on when I ovulated). The u/s starts, and I just can tell it’s not good news. I see no little flickering. The doctor doesn’t say a word. At one point he grabs my hand and holds me on my wrist. At first I think he’s trying to comfort me, but then I realized he was probably checking my pulse for some reason? He asks if I’m sure on the date of my last period. I tell him yes, but my ovulation was late, so I’m not as far along as the stupid pregnancy wheel says I am. He says okay, we’ll need to check and the u/s is over.
The nurse leaves the room and we talk. He tells me that yes, there is a pregnancy there, but that it is too small to detect a heartbeat. He pulls out the wheel again and, basing on my ovulation, says I’m somewhere in the 5 + week point. He says we will try again in one week. He also tells me that either the baby is too small to see the heart beat, or I am having a miscarriage. There is no way to tell yet. Then he points to the pictures on the screen and shows me that there are 2 sacs – two. The 2nd is underdeveloped and he says that could be what’s causing the bleeding. So I go back this Friday, June 25th, to see what’s going on.
I told him about the low progesterone and that I had some inserts, asked if I should use them, and that the nurse had told me not too. He said I should absolutely use them and asked why the nurse had told me not too. Very good question doctor, wish I knew.
Of course, as soon as I left the appointment, my spotting turned from just a bit on the TP to a full flow. Figures. It had been all pink & brown up until that point, but that day, it was bright red. It has since slowed down again and no longer red. I’m hoping that it was from the ultrasound wand, it was a pretty aggressive examination, but honestly, I don’t have much hope at this point.
When I got my first 2 beta numbers, my brain started thinking twins, they just seemed so high for so early on. Guess I was right, but no longer. If nothing else, I have lost one, and possibly I have lost both. I have to wait again, until Friday to find out – hopefully we’ll know then.
I called the ob doc on Friday to tell her what happened at the u/s and request more beta tests for this week. She was not in (she only in on Mondays & Fridays, and apparently has a lot of vacation the next few weeks…), so the nurse said, “Oh, I’m sure your MFM doctor will talk to her Monday and she’ll want to do 2 more beta draws. She’ll call you then.” I highly doubt that. I will be calling back today.
So – that’s the story so far. That’s why I haven’t been blogging. I really wanted to tell you all, but there are IRL people who read my blog, and I needed to make sure to contact certain people to tell them what was going on before they read about it on the blog – it’s just how it is.
Now my story is out there. I’m still spotting, still have no cramping. I know I’ve lost one baby, and think I’ve lost another. I’m not sure where to go next. I’ve always wanted twins. Maybe someday my luck will turn around. I just can’t believe I’m in this place again. And that I’m still stuck in this eternal limbo of not knowing. It’s frustrating and painful. Last week, I was calm. Nervous, but accepting of what was happening and what probably would happen. But now, seeing the u/s, knowing there were 2, but not knowing still what is happening, it really drug me down. I can’t get back to that hopeful and accepting state I was in last week. Friday can not come soon enough.
finding a new doctor…
28 May 2010 6 Comments
in Medical Jargon Tags: 7dpo, blood work, CD-28, Dr. Freakin' Awesome, MFM, MTHFR, new doctor, OB/GYN, PCOS, tests
So you may recall, I broke up with my old ob/gyn (see the full story here) due to many issues (some of which are also explained here). Shortly after I decided I was done with Dr. Tam, I google searched for gynecologists in Chicago. I know, I know…dangerous thing to do! Who knows what you could end up with! Since moving here, I’ve always gone to see doctors either by referral from another doc, or by advice from a friend. My regular doctor had referred me to Dr. Tam, so I couldn’t ask him for another referral (he seemed to really like her and think she would be good), and I of course couldn’t ask Dr. Tam – that would be rude: “Hey, ya know, you kinda suck as an ob/gyn…could you maybe give me a name of someone way better than you?” Yeah, I’m not that kind of person (I hope)…so I googled. I found someone online, who took my insurance and had nothing by 5 star reviews from current patients. So, I took a leap of faith and called to set up a consultation appointment. I figured there would be no harm going in to talk with her and see what she had to offer!
So, I was looking for someone I could feel comfortable with, someone who seemed to either understand my particular fertility problems or at least be willing to work with me and learn. Boy howdy, did I find her!
My first clue that this was going to be the right place was the paperwork I had to fill out before getting there. In the section to fill out about past pregnancies, not was there a place to mark if the pregnancy had ended successfully, but had a column to fill out about miscarriages and a spot to put how far along in the pregnancy you reached! Seriously, this place understood pregnancy does not = healthy baby all the time. Other forms I’ve filled out in the past just asked for pregnancy and how old the child is now.
I got into the office and the nurse brought me back for a few medical history questions and to check my blood pressure. Then the doctor came in. She was so nice! I was immediately at ease! She went over more history with me, spent time with me trying to get the time line of my pregnancies, losses and diagnosis figured out so she understood the steps I’ve already taken. She has a relationship with Dr. Freaking-Awesome (my MFM doc) already and was happy to let me continue to see him if/when I get pregnant again. She then talked with me about possible next steps – she really understood my diagnosis and current treatments! I couldn’t believe it, I doctor that actually understood me and was willing to help me!! It was a miracle. Right away there were some tests she wanted to run (that should have been done when I had first mentioned to my old gyno that I was thinking of trying to get pregnant). I’m going in today for some blood work. First off, she’s checking my Progesterone levels to see if I did in fact ovulate this month (I should be 7dpo if I did). She wants to see if I’m Oing on my own. She mentioned clomid, that it might be a good thing to introduce to my current regimen. I don’t know why but I’ve ALWAYS been hesitant about taking it. All of my docs (old gyno, RE, MFM) have mentioned it to me and I’ve always said no. But having stepped back now, I think it may be time – if it helps I’m willing to go there now. New ob/gyn seems to think that it may just be that extra push that I need. Okay, I’m ready for it then!
I’m also being tested for cystic fibrosis carrier and to see if I’m still immune to chicken pox and rubella. I guess this should have been tested for when I first wanted to get pregnant. If I’m a carrier for cystic fibrosis, DH will need to be tested too. If both parents are carriers then the baby would get it. I really hope that I’m not!
Step 2 of the new plan is to go in a few days after my next cycle begins (hopefully it won’t!) and get an endometrial biopsy. I’ve never had this before. She says that I have certain risk factors (PCOS, MTHFR, over weight, etc…) that could lead to Endometrial cancer, and she just wants to check and make sure all is well. It should be no worse than getting the saline sonogram that I had with my RE, so I’m not too nervous about it. She said I may get a bit crampier than the other test, so I’ll just take some ibuprofen or Tylenol before the procedure to help with that.
Can you believe this – all from a consultation appointment to see if I’d like to stay with this doctor! I can tell you, about 1 min into my conversation with her I’d already decided!! She even said if I get a positive pregnancy test to call Dr. Freakin-Awesome first to confirm viability and then to call her – she takes this high risk stuff seriously!! I know she’ll be able to deal with crazy pregnant me if/when I get to that point! I’m so happy with how this all worked out!!!
Okay, so now for the naming ceremony. I need to give her a clever nickname – oh, and by the way, if you live in the Chicago area and want to check out my new doctor, send me an email at somedaybabyt at gmail dot com and I’ll give you her contact info. Hmm…how about, Dr. Understanding? Dr. Delightful? Dr. Proactive? Any good suggestions? I’ll take them!! Maybe we’ll even do a poll if I get a bunch of good ideas! Leave your name suggestions in the comments!
my drug habit…
14 Apr 2010 5 Comments
in Medicine Tags: baby aspirin, CD-21, Dr. Freakin' Awesome, folic acid, homocystine, Metformin, MFM, MTHFR, OB/GYN, PCOS, prenatal vitamins, The Expecting Father, Waiting for Sunflower
I went in for my last (hopefully) blood test for a while. It was to check my homocystine (?) levels, which is realated to the MTHFR. I’m not sure what will happen if it comes back that I have that, too…more meds? Don’t know. Anyway I’m really hoping that we’re now at the point where I can get pregnant and sustain it all the way through. Sadly it’s taken 3 doctors, 3+ years and 2 lost babies to figure this all out. I’ve learned that I need to be more proactive about my own diagnosis and fight for the things that I want.
When I first went in to see Dr. Freakin’ Awesome (the MFM doc) I was asking him all kinds of questions about baby aspirin and lovenox, since I know so many of you ladies have been put on one or both of those. At that point (rightly so) he didn’t think it was necessary, since we hadn’t run the blood work yet. I was kind of just feeling out what might be used for some treatment. Now with the MTHFR diagnosis he has put me on baby aspirin, plus the extra folic acid. I’ve been doing a lot of “research” (by that I mean, Dr. Google has been consulted on this), and have found that most women diagnosed with MTHFR are then put on the baby aspirin, extra folic acid (on top of a prenatal) and then when they become pregnant are prescribed lovenox or heparin. I’ve found this article, that I have now printed off to put in my files. If (when…) I get pregnant I will be using it to convince whatever doctor I have at the time to put me on one of the two of those. I hate needles – really hate them, but whatever it takes ya know, as I’m sure you all understand. I also stumbled across a blog called The Expecting Father – MTHFR gene mutation and pregnancy. It’s written by a man who’s wife had recurrent miscarriage (2) and then was found to have the MTHFR gene mutation. When she became pregnant again she was given lovenox and delivered a healthy baby boy. They have since had another baby boy just a few weeks ago with the same treatments. I also know my dear blog friend K of Waiting for Sunflower has used the same treatment and her little guy should be coming in the next few weeks!! You can be sure I’ll be very proactive about getting this same treatment for myself.
In other news, I’ve scheduled a consultation appointment with a new ob/gyn (for May 24th). I found her by searching online (I know, kinda scary) – but she was reviewed on Yelp! and all of the reviews were 5 stars! She is covered by my insurance as well. I’m hoping to go in to the meeting with all of my medical records and just be very straight with her what I want. I’m hoping she has some experience/knowledge of infertility issues, specifically PCOS and now MTHFR. She sounds like a great doctor, but if she can’t meet my needs, I’ll be looking for someone else. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Okay, now on to the actual reason for this post! I wanted to do a show and tell of my new drug habit (sorry this beginning part kinda got away from me). First off, I’ve turned into an old lady – yup, I bought a pill box. I figured though if I need a pill box to keep track of everything, it may as well be a “hip” pill box, so this is what I got:
It’s individual canisters that screw together to make this stack. There’s an extra lid so if you’re going on vacation, you can just take the days you’ll need. It’s pretty fun, and allows me to see if I’d remembered to take my pills for the day. I just put my morning dose in the jars. I have an alarm set on my phone to go off to remember to take my Metformin at lunch and bed time.
Here’s a shot of the bottles of pills:
The big jar is the pre-natals (some generic brand my insurance company picked out…). The next generic looking jar is my Metformin. The yellow is the extra Folic Acid (I’m supposed to take 1 mg a day, but they only came in doses of 400 mcg, so I take 3 of those) and the smallest jar is the “baby” aspirin, which isn’t for baby’s at all, they just call it that. Though it is chewable and orange flavored!
So the grand total for the day is 8 pills: 6 in the morning and then then other 2 through out the day. Here they all are!
Nice, huh? The prenatal is a very vibrant pink. There is even a warning on the bottle that it may turn your pee colors for a while…yeah, really. Luckily I didn’t get that side effect! I don’t know why they had to make it so pink!
That’s my update for now. Hopefully my results will come back soon and I know for sure the full treatment for me, and hopefully, it’ll work! Oh…and btw, I’m on CD-21, and no sign of ovulation. My temps have been all over the place throughout this whole cycle. I forgot to do my OPK this morning. Might do it tonight and see what happens…
* * * * * * * * * *
Okay…so, I was just getting ready to hit PUBLISH and my phone rang. It was Dr. Freakin’ Awesome’s office and my blood work came back normal! Yay! So I just stick with the above until it works!
we are so done…
23 Feb 2010 9 Comments
in Venting Tags: charts, doctors, Dr. Teresa Tam, miscarriage, OB/GYN
So, remember a few posts back when I talked about my awful miscarriage followup appointment with my ob/gyn? You know, where they didn’t look at the chart and see I had miscarried and started treating me like a pre-natal patient? Well, it turns out there was a reason for that…
I looked at my phone this morning and saw I had missed a call earlier today from my ob/gyn office. I figured they were calling to yell at me for not getting my blood work done yet (we did try to go Friday, but it was closed…). I listened to the message and it said, “This is Dr. T’s office. I noticed that we don’t have your next appointment down on the books. I don’t know if we just forgot to put it in or if you haven’t scheduled one yet. Please call me back.” Immediately, my blood began to boil. I just knew – I KNEW – that they still thought I was pregnant.
I called back and actually got the receptionist (usually I have to leave a message, then call back later when they don’t return my call). It was even the woman who had left the message for me. Conversation was something like this:
Her: Hi! I’m the one that called you!
Me: Yeah, why did you call me?
Her: We seem to have either forgotten to write your next appointment down or we didn’t schedule one.
Me: I don’t understand. Why do I need an appointment?
Her: Aren’t you pregnant?
Me: *cleansing breath so I don’t go ALL out on her* No I miscarried.
Her: Oh, um…
Me: This is the SECOND time this has happened and it’s getting very frustrating!
Her: I’m sorry, no one seems to have written that in the computer or on your chart. I’ll be sure to do that.
Me: Thanks *hangs up phone*
I can’t BELIEVE they didn’t write it down!!! At least I know what happened with my last appointment, the nurse couldn’t have looked at my chart to know what I was there for – BECAUSE THE DAMN DOCTOR NEVER WROTE IT DOWN!!!!! I’m so over you Dr. Tam. We are done – through, over, Elvis has left the building and he ain’t comin’ back!
I try not to name my doctors on this blog, but seriously, if you’re in the Chicago area, DON’T go see Dr. Teresa Tam!! I’ve had nothing by awkward or bad experiences there. I was never comfortable with her. I’m in the market people, lookin’ for a new doctor. Who can treat me the way I deserve to be treated. Someone who can be sensitive to my needs, to my wants and desires…
Wait, that’s starting to sound like a personal add! I guess that’s what I need to write though!
WANTED: A doctor who knows about PCOS and it’s complications. A doctor who will treat me like a person, not a number. A doctor who will read my chart BEFORE entering the room, and also to WRITE DOWN important information IN my chart. Someone I don’t have to explain my entire history to every time I go in, because they’ve read my chart and know it!
Okay, my venting is out. Seriously though, if you ARE in the Chicago area and have a good recommendation for me, let me know!
and it just keeps on coming…
10 Feb 2010 7 Comments
in Venting Tags: Declan, MFM. blood tests, OB/GYN, Sophie
Hey guys…sorry it’s been a while. I have had things to post about, I just haven’t been able to convince myself to do it. I had my follow up appointment with my ob/gyn on Monday. I should have known it was going to be a bad day when I got to work and realized that the appointment was that day, and not the next day as I had been thinking it was!
I got to the office and they showed me to the exam room. I sat down to wait and then I heard the nurse calling me from the hallway. I went out and she said “I need to get your weight.” I thought, okay, kinda weird, but they do weigh you a lot when you go to see a doctor, so whatever. She took my weight and then handed me a plastic cup. “We’ll need a urine sample too.” I kind of gave her a confused look. “Really? You need to test that?” She looked back and said, “Yes, we need it every time you come in.” It was then I realized what was going on. I looked at the nurse and said, “They didn’t change the appointment did they. This is for a miscarriage follow up.” She looked down at my chart (the one she had been holding the whole time, the one she had JUST written my weight on, the one that said on the very first page that I had lost my baby) and looked back up to me with just a bit of panic in her eyes, “Oh, I’m sorry. Okay, you can go and wait for the doctor.”
Yup. If that wasn’t an unfriendly reminder of what I was going through, I don’t know what would be! I’m really getting frustrated with doctors and their staff NOT LOOKING AT MY DAMN CHART BEFORE THEY TALK TO ME. Seriously, is it so hard to open up a folder and see just WHY I’m in your office to begin with? You know, shouldn’t that be an important first step to a visit? I understand I live in Chicago, it’s a GINORMOUS town and my doctors see a lot of patients so they can’t be expect to remember me and my issues, but isn’t that what the charts are for? So that they don’t have to remember all the details? So they can read what it says and know what they are doing before they walk into the room??
The hubs and I have decided that after this whole mess is over that I should start looking for a new gynecologist. She’s nice enough, but sometimes she just frustrates the heck out of me. I have to explain EVERYTHING to her each time I go in. She can’t do all the things for me that I need (monitor Metformin, etc). I should really be with someone who’s specialty is infertility and high risk pregnancies.
So after the nurse spoke with me, I waited a bit for the doctor to come in. She talked with me a bit about what the MFM doctor said and then she did a quick exam to make sure that things were going along okay. I told her the MFM doc wants me to get some blood work done in 8 weeks and that I’m not supposed to try again until after those tests and the results have come in. We’ll go from there. Then she said she wanted me to go in for blood work to check my beta numbers. She said “I can’t sign off on you trying again until the numbers are 5 or lower.” I asked if it was necessary, since the MFM doc doesn’t want us trying until after the big blood tests. She insisted on it “I just can’t let you try again until we know the numbers are falling.” I said again to her, well we won’t be trying again until after the blood tests in 8 weeks to which she said, “Oh, that’s in 8 weeks? Well, I’d still like you to go in.” It’s like she had cotton in her ears or something! I said to her at least 3 times that I was having all this blood work done, ordered by the MFM doc, and she didn’t seem to understand what I was saying. I really don’t want to have to go in 2 times for blood work…can’t they just tack on the beta test with the rest and get it all done at once? Apparently not. So now I have 3 orders for blood work (2 betas, in case the first test numbers aren’t low enough I’ll have to go back in) and the tests for the MFM doctor. At that point I was just ready to get the hell out of there. I was mad and frustrated and just wanted to get home.
I had to run some errands quick, so I did that and went home. I had to walk the dogs. They got on my nerves. I was also starting to cramp again so I knew I had to get inside quick. The dogs were being very naughty on their walk and not listening so I was getting more angry and frustrated by the minute. Went inside, go to the bath room and had a melt down! I’m not sure what the final trigger was, but all of a sudden I was throwing things across the room and then I just broke down. I sobbed and sobbed and cried out. My poor doggies on the other side of the door were trying to get to me, but I just needed to be alone right then. I think up until that point, I hadn’t let myself deal with what was happening. Of course, I broke down and was devastated the day we found out Sophie was gone, but after that I bottled it up. I had to go to work the next day, and really haven’t had any time off to really grieve the loss. After Declan I had almost 5 days to be home and face the loss. I haven’t had time to do that this time. It all came out on Monday, and I’ve been trying to come out of it ever since.
I’m of course not saying I don’t want to grieve, or that I’m over it. Not at all, and I never will be. I’m just not sure how to go on from a second loss. I think that’s why I haven’t been letting myself deal with it. I’m getting there slowly. The breakdown on Monday I think was step one – I think that’s when I really accepted it, and let myself feel the pain.
I’ve also recently realized that I’m in a bit of a rut and I need to break out of it. I need to shake my life up a bit and do something different. Get out into the world and experience it. I used to be in such a good place and really enjoying life and all it had to offer. Lately, I feel like I’ve been putting that old me on as a mask and projecting that that is who I still am, trying to get back there, but not quite making it. I’m not sure if that sentence just made sense, but I think I know what I meant.
To that end, I’m going to try and shake things up in my routine. Start a class in something, or do something different at home every night, instead of just plopping down on the couch because I’m so exhausted from the day. I need to DO something instead of just letting things happen to me. It’s time to take some action and become the me I used to know and love.
I hope this post hasn’t gotten anyone too worried about me. I’m not depressed, don’t worry. I have a lot of amazing things in my life: my husband (first and foremost the best thing that has ever happened to me and I love him very very very very much), my puppies, my friends, my family. Our life is on the right track, with my hubby discovering his path in life – I’m so happy for him. We’ve hit this huge speed bump in our life, but I know, in someway – someday we will reach the top and get over the hump. I just need to do something to keep myself going until we get there. It’s time for a change.
sometimes the impossible happens…
08 Jan 2010 35 Comments
in Pregnancy, The Waiting Game Tags: 6w3d, big news, OB/GYN, Pregnancy
So, some of you have been wondering what’s going on with my cycle. I posted on 14dpo and that was kind of it on that. Well, I wanted to confirm with the doctor first……………………..
I’m pregnant.
Yup – you read that right folks! My first cycle of no RE, no IUI, only Metformin and I’m 6w3d!!!! I can’t believe it! I really, really did not think it would happen on this cycle, I mean the timing seemed so off! We did the BD 2 days before ovulation, plus it was my first on the Met. I figured it was a practice run. Guess not!
You can imagine my surprise when I POAS and there was a faint 2nd line. I showed my husband and I said, “I don’t know what this means.” I was using one of those internet cheapy ones, so before work I stopped at the store and got the digital one, you know that says “pregnant” or “not pregnant”. I was supposed to wait 3 min for results, but it popped up in like 30 seconds! Again, shock – awe – wonder – excitement – fear. Called the DH, told him the news, then tried to call my doctor…I couldn’t get through! I left 2 messages, kept trying. Then I decided to call my RE and see if they could get me in for a blood test. I tried calling ALL DAY and the damn machine kept cutting me off! Now, this was on Dec 23rd, so I thought maybe everyone was closed? Which REALLY freaked me out, because then I figured I’d have to wait until I got back from vacation on December 29th! Yuck, did NOT want to wait that long! Tried calling my best friend – not home. Remembered she was on vacation. Called her cell, didn’t answer. Went on Facebook and email leaving her messages to CALL ME. She finally did. I was so scared, I wanted this to be true but I couldn’t believe it. Talked with her for a bit.
FINALLY my doctor called me back. At first they wanted to schedule me on Jan 22nd. I freaked out. I told them I’d already lost one baby this year and was really hoping I could get in before that. The earliest they had was Jan 7th, so I took it.
I’ve been twiddling my thumbs ever since then. I took one more POAS (cheap internet ones) and the line got darker. That made me feel better.
I’ve had no idea all this time how far along I was. I ovulated late, so using the pregnancy fuzzy math wasn’t going to work. I could have been anywhere from 4-6 wks! When I went in today, I thought maybe 7wks. I was pretty close – 6w3d. My due date is August 30th, which is 6 days after my 30th birthday! What a great birthday gift 
I’m still in a little bit of shock, and I can’t believe we’re here again. I don’t go back in to the doctor for 4 more weeks, that’ll put me around 10 weeks. But that’s an awful long time for me. I hope I don’t go nuts before then!
I’m so nervous and so happy at the same time. Just a few months ago I was convinced I would never be pregnant again, and now here I am – 6w3d. It’s a miracle.
So there it is folks. Now, we’re ABSOLUTELY NOT TELLING ANYONE about this until at least after my 10wk appointment. I need to have that 2nd confirmation, maybe even more. However, you all are the exception to this rule. You’re my support system, so I had to tell you! We’ve also called our parents, as they do sometimes read the blog and that would have been an awful way for them to find out. So that’s it folks, mums the word!!
I do have some IRL (in real life) friends who also read this blog (you know who you are!). I’m asking you – please DO NOT SAY ANYTHING TO ANYONE!!! We’re not at a place yet to be able to tell people, so we’re asking you to not tell anyone until we are ready. If you do know me, and you do read this, please leave me a message so I know you know. We would very much appreciate that
And to everyone – thoughts, prayers, guidance, support, suggestions, advice, etc…are asked for, welcomed and needed! I’m so grateful to have found this great community on the internet, through blogs and my TTC Twitter girls! I love you all and value your support.
Sometimes the impossible happens…
