okay, I’m here…
22 Oct 2009 10 Comments
in Venting Tags: baby aspirin, Bird and Squirrels, bloggers, IUI, IVF, Maybe Baby, Metformin, miscarriage, PCOS
Hey all…I hope you’re still around. I’ve been taking a blogging break, but I’ve still been reading all of my IF blogs daily, sometimes more! I just needed a break from thinking about my own IF for a while.
So, here’s where I’m at. Our last IUI failed. That was the 3rd one after we lost Zippy in March. They say after 3 tries, it’s time to move on to something else. Not only was it our 3rd failed IUI after miscarriage, but I got the news of the BFN 2 days before my due date would have been for our baby. As you can imagine, that has launched me into a pretty spectacular funk. I’m still not out of it. I do my best to put on a happy face throughout the day, and it works, as long as I don’t for a second let my mind wander. My “happy face” mask has to extend also to my brain or it all come crashing down again. Even typing this post is difficult because I’m allowing myself to go “there” – you know, that place where all you can think about is your IF failures and the “what might have been”s. I’m there. I don’t want to be there.
I’m sick of this whole journey. I know it’s building character, and making me stronger, letting me know how much I can deal with and still survive, but if it’s all the same, I’ll give all that character building back if I can please have my baby. Thanks.
I don’t want to deal with this any more, but there is no way out. If I want a child I have to deal with this, and it just so isn’t fair. I’m surrounded by babies, but I can’t have my own and that’s all I want in the world.
The worst part is, we’re at a point now where the only thing we can do is the old fashioned trying to have a baby. We’ve emptied every bank account, begged money off friends and family, taken out loans, gotten as many grants as possible. We’re out. Adoption can’t even be a possibility because the cost is so prohibitive. I’ve got no hope that I will EVER have a child, let alone anytime in the near future. I’ve tried everything I can think of. Thought about cashing out my retirement account that work has for me, but I really can’t do that unless I were to leave my job. That’s another possibility, get hired somewhere else. The state of Illinois is one of the few states that requires jobs to provide IF treatment as part of the Health coverage, that is if you don’t work for a religious institution, which I do. So, if I were to switch jobs, not only would I probably get paid more (which would help) but I’d have IF coverage. But – welcome to our wonderful economy! No one’s hiring. Also I have to worry if it’d be a “pre-exising” condition that wouldn’t be covered anyway. My next option was to get a part time job for nights and weekends and save up for IVF. That failed too – I applied to about 10 places and never heard back from any. I really feel like the world is conspiring against me becoming a mother. I really do.
I don’t know what to do, or where to go. I feel like a boat lost at sea, drifting aimlessly hoping to crash into land, but I’m so far away from the shore I probably won’t survive the journey. Yup, that’s hopelessness folks!
However, my stupid mind got to thinking today. Maybe Baby? was talking on her blog about Metformin and linked to Birds and Squirrels about articles on Metformin. I’ve heard you lovely blog folks mention this med before, but I didn’t know what it did or why one would take it. Turns out, for women with PCOS, it can help regulate cycles and even help ovulation! It has a good percentage to help PCOS women get pregnant even! So of course, I start plotting a new plan. Get my doctor to put me on Metformin, maybe discuss taking baby aspirin, I’ve heard that helps too. Maybe I can even get insurance to cover the drugs some how, since it’s a treatment for a condition I have? I don’t know…will need to talk with doctor about that…then, I guess I could give it a couple months of trying natural? Or, maybe one more IUI shot? Of course after emptying out every ounce of cash we had, we did have another break on the financial front recently that could help for one more try if we wanted to go there. This is giving me things to think about, and actually the first glimmer of hope I’ve had in quite a while…don’t read to much into that though. That glimmer is still miles off in a room full of darkness, but at least it’s a pinpoint of light. I’ve not had that.
tick tock tick tock…
21 Sep 2009 3 Comments
in Procedures, The Waiting Game Tags: 2ww, endometrium, IUI
The 2ww is on. We had IUI on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Started my Endometrium this morning. Everything went well. Had and interesting nurse on Saturday. VERY chatty. Also, right before the procedure she said “I’ll step out so you can undress. If you have to use the bathroom, don’t yet. It makes it easier for me.” When I told her it was too late I had already gone, she seemed upset. She then went off about how she always sends memo’s around about this and everyone ignores her. I was left feeling that she was mad that I had not read her memo – you know, the one she sends to the WORKERS in the clinic. How was I as a patient supposed to read her memo?? Anyway…she did her thing. I was very quick. I call her now the whirlwind nurse, because the whole thing took her about 20 seconds and she was talking the whole time about random stuff. She didn’t even warn me when the speculum was going in. All of a sudden I was like “Oh! I guess we’re starting now!” Anyway, the husband’s count was good that day…after the wash it was about 35 million.
Day 2, I got the lovely Carol who we have had before. Unfortunately because it was Sunday my husband couldn’t stay around for the procedure. He did his thing and then had to leave for church, as he was part of the service. It was the first time I’ve done and IUI alone. It was quite a different experience. I wish he could have been there, but I understand why he couldn’t. Love you honey! So…his count that day was crazy! 117 million!!! There was something like 74% motility, so it was really only about 86 million, but that is still a lot! Ladies…my husband is beyond fertile. Seriously. It make me feel bad sometimes that if he had married someone else, he’d have about 50 kids by now. But I’m glad he married me, and he is with me on this whole journey.
So, now we’re waiting. I’m hopeful for this cycle…I have to be, it could be the last one. So I’m very nervous, too. Guess we’ll find out in 2 weeks…
TICK
TOCK
TICK
TOCK
TICK
TOCK
TICK…
nervous…
16 Sep 2009 2 Comments
in cycling Tags: bravelle, follicles, IUI, ovadril
Had another u/s today to check my follicles. Laverne at last check had one at 15, that was the biggest. Today I went in (after 2 more days of Bravelle, dose of 75) and Laverne’s biggest follicle was 16.5. Hmm….that makes me REALLY nervous that they’ll cancel this cycle. They can’t do that. They just can’t. We’ve put so much money into this cycle already because they’ve done so many u/s checks that we just don’t have enough for another full cycle. We have enough to finish this one out, but that’s probably about it. I knew I should have said something when the nurse told me to do 75 of the Brevelle. I’ve NEVER responded well to a dose that low, and they’ve had be do that 3 times this cycle. No wonder it’s taking so long! I’m really hoping that they’ll say take a higher dose tonight (like 225??) and then do the Ovadril shot tomorrow, IUI on Friday and Saturday. I know they like to have the follicles about 18-20mm. I’m so close! I’m going to try my hardest to convince them to try the IUI this cycle if they attempt to cancel on me…it’s worth a shot if it’s the only one I have left. Better to try at least.
I’ll post more this afternoon when I hear from the clinic…
still a bit sluggish…
14 Sep 2009 4 Comments
in cycling Tags: bloodwork, bravelle, eggs, follicles, IUI, Laverne & Shirley, ultrasound
It seems like these damn things are taking forever to grow…follicles that is. I’m on CD12 and they are still not ready for me! My last IUI cycle I only had to go in for 3 blood work and u/s checks. Come this Wednesday it’ll be #4. “Righty” (let’s call her Laverne from now on) has a 15, 14.5 & 11.5 size follicles. “Lefty” (aka: Shirley) has one at a size 10. I’m a bit nervous that Laverne is the one that’s pulling through. She’s the one that had the biggest follicles with the last IUI attempt and it was a big flop on that one. When I got pregnant with Zippy, it was Shirley that supplied the egg for him/her. I’ve heard that a woman tends to favor one side over the other when it comes to makin’ babies. Anyone know if this is actually true? Can it switch sides or is it always from one particular side? It seems like with my first 2 IUI’s it was the left, and now the last one and this one it’s been on the right.
Got a different tech today…the one I like the best. Very nice, and sometimes asks if I want to help her guide the “probe”. At least then I can say no and she can do it herself. I didn’t like her at first, but that may have been slightly biased since the first few times she gave me the ultrasound check ups she was pregnant. There really is nothing like being in an infertility clinic, trying your hardest to get pregnant by any means, and having a big old pregnant belly rubbing against your legs while you’re in the stirrups. Yup. I told my husband at one point that pregnant women should not be allowed to work at RE clinics. I was only half joking though…half.
Anyway, 75 tonight and tomorrow on the Bravelle, then back bright and early on Wed for another check. LET’S GO LAVERNE!!!
a practice run…
11 Sep 2009 3 Comments
in cycling Tags: IUI, follicles, money, stress, stupid things people say
That’s apparently what my first pregnancy was, according to my lab tech…a practice run.
Went in today for 3rd blood woork and u/s. Got the chatty tech (I hate getting her. She’s good, but I don’t really want to sit there and talk about how beautiful my lining is). Anyway, She’s measuring and chatting along and here was where the conversation (by conversation I mean her talking at me while I’m trying to concentrate on not jumping out of the stirrups every time she digs the wand in) turns:
Tech: We’re just looking for one good follicle, that’s all you need.
Me: Mmm…(sure lady, just do your thing and get me on to the blood people)
Tech: You’ve been pregnant before right.
Me: Yes (thanks for continually bringing that up. I really love talking about my lost child)
Tech: How many follicles did you have for that?
Me: I don’t recall (seriously, let’s just get this over with!)
Tech: Well, let’s try and get you that way again. That was your practice run!
Me: *blankly stares at tech and blinks*
WHAT THE F*CK?!?!?!?!?! In what twisted time/place would it EVER be okay to say something like that to a woman who had lost a child? Let alone in a freakin’ INFERTILITY CLINIC!!!!!!! Am I wrong here? Am I over reacting?? I don’t think so. Never, never, EVER call my child a practice run!!!!!! I was so shocked that she had said that, I didn’t even know what to do. I went into the restroom to get redressed and I just teared up. I wish I would have had the presence of mind to say something to her. Anything:
“I’m sorry? What did you just call my child? I don’t think so!”
“A practice run? A PRACTICE RUN?? I’ll show you a practice run!!!”
“Excuse me, could you never, ever refer to a lost baby as a practice run…ever…to anyone?”
You know, something like that. Then, I’m already in a bad mood from that and go up to the sign out counter. This is where break downs usually happen, because it’s where the money handling is done. We have a credit on our account due to a medical loan we got. This credit is dwindling, but there should be a bit left in there. Apparently however, it take 2 weeks for charges to be processed and for the actual amount of our credit to show up on our forms at the office. The lady at the desk said, “I can’t tell how much is in there, and probably won’t for 2 weeks. I suggest you pay us now and then we can reimburse you.” As if it’s that easy! We just don’t have the spare money to be throwing around and waiting for a reimbursement check that may never come. The whole point of this loan was to have money there so we didn’t have to deal with this sh*t every time we go in. It was supposed to relieve our stress, not cause more. I asked if I could call the billing dept. and get an accurate count. “You could call them, but they may not know until Monday, and everything may not have been processed yet.” Great. The billing dept. doesn’t even know what’s going on. Great system they have working here! I was told that the clinic would always be able to tell what my credit on my account was. So much for that. So now I have to go through the headache calling the billing dept, explaining my whole situation to the receptionist, hopefully get transferred to someone who can understand my dilemma, and explain it all to them again! I usually have to go through this about 3 or 4 time before I get someone who can actually help me. I have a guy who helped me last time. He gave me his name and told me to ask for him if we ever have trouble. Thanks guy…but I don’t remember your name. Crap. Did I blog about him? I hope…I’ll have to go back through my archives and see if I listed his name.
Of course, the very helpful receptionist at the billing dept always starts with one question. “What insurance company do you use?” Um…yeah. I tell her the name of my company, but that the rep for them can’t help me, as my insurance doesn’t cover anything, and that’s not what this is about anyway. Then she gets flustered and has no idea who to transfer me to. You’d think she’d be used to dealing with women with no IF insurance. I’m certainly not the ONLY one at that clinic paying out of pocket! Am I? No…I know I’m not.
So…I left the clinic and drove to work. As usual on appointment days, I got here an hour early. We have to schedule early morning appointments so I don’t miss any more work that is absolutely necessary. I spoke with my boss about why I’d been missing so much (which I REALLY didn’t want to do) because he had made a comment about it at one point. So now, apparently for my IUI days, he wants me to take them as personal days. Too bad I’m out now. So, instead of resting and letting the little swimmers do there thing, I will have to come in to work. Damn.
Anyway…got off track there for a second. So, I got to work an hour early. Upset and crying. I decided that I couldn’t just sit in my office and read for the hour. I went for a walk. A very LONG walk. About 2 miles actually. I needed to just clear my head. It was great – except I was wearing bad shoes for urban hiking and now I’ve given myself blisters and rubbed the skin off one spot on the top of my foot. But I’m glad I took the walk. I needed it.
So…that’s my day. I’ll update when I hear from the nurse as to the next step of this whole damn process.
sleepy follicles…
09 Sep 2009 4 Comments
in cycling Tags: bloodwork, brevelle, follicles, IUI, ultrasound, ultrasound techs
So had my 2nd appointment for this cycle this morning. In and out…no crazy stories this time.
Got the call from the nurse a bit ago, and it seems my follicles want to be sluggish this go round. Damn them. Although, the tech I had this morning only measure 2 of them, so I kind of wonder if that’s part of the reason they think I’m having trouble? Anyway…
I have 2 main follicles at 8mm a piece, which I don’t think is too bad. I’m on CD7, so if they grow 2mm a day, that puts me around 20mm on CD13, which would be great for a “normal” person and excellent for me, so I’m not sure what they think the problem is…
Anyway, I usually do a dose of 150 of Bravelle every night during my IUI cycles. Tonight they want me to up it to 225…that’s 3 vials of the precious, expensive (though very happily donated by my amazingly wonderful nurse) meds…Then 150 tomorrow night and back bright and early on Friday for another blood work and u/s.
Hopefully the little buggers will be appeased by this increased offering of Brevelle tonight and decide to expand to their full growth soon, then we can do this IUI and commence the 2ww. We’ll see. I have hope for this cycle, I really do: grow damn you!
son of a…
03 Sep 2009 1 Comment
in cycling Tags: aunt flow, baby dance, cycling, here we go again!, IUI, staph
Yup…AF just showed up. WTF?? Since when does she come on her own in less than 3 months!?! You know what this means though…it means I ovulated this cycle. Normally, that would make me overjoyed, but the husband and I did the BD (baby dance) very few times because of my damn freakin’ fraken’ staph infection!!!!!!!!!!!!! It may have worked naturally this time, but instead I had to go and get that, missing my chance. Anger. Rage.
Okay, now that that’s over with, I’m ecstatic. This means I can start the IUI cycle much earlier than I had anticipated! On the other hand though, I still have the packing in from the infecting…I was hoping that would be gone before we started this process. There’s no way of know when it’ll come out, because we don’t know how much packing they put in there at the ER. Well, all I can do is call my nurse, tell her what’s going on and hope for the go ahead.
Yay for saving money on cycle inducing meds! Boo for ovulating and not being able to do anything about it! Yay for starting the IUI process earlier than anticipated!! Boo for still having do deal with this damn infection.
This folks, is my life. Please 2010, bring me some better f-ing luck!
my life right now…
26 Aug 2009 3 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: brevelle, emergency room, injections, IUI, staph infection
Hey folks…it’s been a while, and let me tell you, a lot has happened in that time!
At last update, I was counting down to Sept 9th, when I can call in for a perscription to jump start AF. Still waiting for that, but nervous it won’t happen. Let me tell you why.
My husband and I had planned to go visit my parents over my birthday (Aug 24th) which we did. We left last Friday and arrived back last night. However, before we left, we had a bit of excitement.
I had noticed on my stomach last monday that I had an irritation. I sometimes do get small cysts of some type there where my jeans rub on my stomach when it’s hot out. They are small, show up for a day or two then go away. This one however was about 2 inches around, rock hard and painful. Any pressure that was put on it was excruciating. Also, I got home from work on Tuesday after spending the day completly exhausted and went straight to bed. I ended up sleeping until 10:30 pm when I woke up and realized I’d been having chills the whole time. Had a temp of over 100. My husband finally convinced me to go get it check out, so on Wednesday we went in to the doc (a regular doctor to, like, the kind normal people go to, can you believe it?). Here’s where we start getting into the gross stuff. The area had burst open that morning, so I showed up at the doctor with washrag on my stomach. She looked at it a bit and took a culture. She finally decided that, due to the fever and size of the infection that I should go to the ER. Yup…I spent 6 hours in the emergency room last Wednesday. Good times!
We got into a room right away, as my doc had called ahead to tell them to expect me. We waited about 20 min to see the doc. They set me up on IV antibiotics and pain killers. I also got a local on my stomach. She then used a scalpel to open up the wound to drain it. Let me tell you, that was the 2nd most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. Even with all the pain meds they had me on and the local, I could feel it all. I was crying and screaming the whole time. I felt bad for the people around me, as we were just in a curtained off section. I also had a CAT scan, to make sure the infection hadn’t gotten to my organs (it did not). They were worried that I might have mersa (a very severe staff infection), but from culture results today, it looks like it was just a general staph infection.
So, I’m on antibiotics and I stopped taking the pain meds a few days ago as it is much better now. Went in to the doc this morning and the infection is pretty much gone. They put packing in the would at the ER to keep it open (it basically looks like a shoestring) which is put in the infection to keep it open so it continues to drain. My husband now has the job of pulling out the string 1cm a day until it comes out. Good times. That does not feel good either. More pain in store! Woo Hoo!
So, that’s pretty much done, and the antibotics are done in about 3 days. Here’s the main problem – I hope this does not effect starting my next IUI cycle in September. The infecting is right at the injection site for my brevelle. I’m hoping we can do it on the other side of my belly button (anyone know if it matters what side you inject on??). I’m nervous though that they’ll say since it was so soon they don’t want to do an IUI. Does staph effect pregnancy? Now that I’ve had it once, I can be more prone to getting it again, so I have to be very careful. It was just on my skin though, so I’m hoping this will not effect IF treatments in anyway, but I’m nervous. I’m also nervous that the damn cyst in my uterus will still be there and I’ll have to wait again. All I can do is inform my nurse when I call on the 9th of everything and hope I get the go ahead.
just keep moving…
30 Jul 2009 2 Comments
in the story Tags: BFN, friends, Guidance, help, infertility, IUI
I had a rough day yesterday. I got 2 hours of sleep as I went to see Harry Potter in IMAX 3-D at midnight, then had my blood test at 6:30 am, which meant I woke up at 5:30 to get ready and leave after going to be at about 3 am. Yeah. Then my heart jumped in my chest every time the phone rang waiting for the call. If I’m honest with myself, I really thought it had worked this time, even though I always tell myself it hasn’t worked. But, I was pretty tired the last few weeks (though that could be from not sleeping well), and my breasts have been a bit sore (though, not as much as when I was pregnant), and I’ve been peeing a lot more than normal (I NEVER wake up at night to go, except when I was pregnant). So, I wasn’t experiencing the symptoms to the same degree as I did when I was pregnant with Zippy, but it was enough to give me hope.
So, when I got the call and it was negative, needless to say I was pretty crushed. I managed to get through the day at work fine, but as soon as I jumped in the car to go home, it was over. It also didn’t help that it took an hour to get home yesterday, as opposed to the normal 30-45 min – traffic was extra heavy! I was sitting in my car, wiping the tears that were streaming down my face. Driving in heavy traffic while extremely tired, upset and crying is NOT a good idea. I’d recommend that you all never do it.
Last IUI I was not nearly as upset about the negative result. Granted, I was sad it had not worked, but I never thought it had that time because I had zero symptoms. I think the combo of having some small possible symptoms and being extremely tired really got to me. Today I’m better, but still have to concentrate hard not to cry.
I’m at the point now (again) where I just want this all to be over. I want a baby so badly. I mean, I’ve wanted that for the whole 2 1/2 years we’ve been trying, but it’s really building up right now. I’m worried we had our 1 shot and I blew it. We have enough to try again, but pretty much that will be it. Justin and I had a short conversation yesterday that after this, we will most likely have to stop. I don’t even want to think about that. How can I stop? How can I live 3 years without – I can’t comprehend that right now, so I’m going to stop writing about it.
I miss the happy person I used to be. It took me a long time to get to that point, but I was truly happy and things did not bother me – I did not let them. Why stress or worry I would say? Things will work themselves out. I miss that person. I was not one of those annoyingly perky people, I was just happy being who I was and happy with my lot in life. I want that back. I don’t want to be the person that looks away in pain when I see a pregnant stranger on the street or a happy family walk by. I don’t want to be the person that stares in anger and jealousy at a pregnant belly, or that cries in pain at the happy family – the one I fear I will never have. I hate that person, I wish she would go away.
I’m in a rough spot right now folks and trying to crawl my way out. It just is so unfair, and makes no sense. I need your help. How do you get through the darkest times in this battle? I tend to turn to donuts, which is not helpful at all! I’m going to spend the day with my best friend tomorrow. Took 1/2 a personal day, and I’m hoping that will help me clear my head a bit. She’s known from the very beginning that we were trying to have a baby, she was the only one we told we were trying until we got pregnant with Zippy. She’s been with me through the miscarriage and all the struggles. She’s just moved closer to where I am which makes me very happy. It’s still a bit of a drive, but much closer than it used to be!
I know I’ll make it through all this, hopefully with a happy bouncy baby at the end, but at this moment, it doesn’t feel like it will ever get to that point.
what’s been going on…
22 Jul 2009 6 Comments
in IF Bloggers, Procedures, The Waiting Game Tags: family, financing, friends, grace, grants, IF Bloggers, infertility, IUI, McGregor IA, medical loans, miscarriage, money, TWW, vacation
Hey guys. Sorry. I’ve been lame about posting. Life happens sometimes.
With my last post I was talking about possible financial help that would be coming our way. Boy did it! We were approved for a medical loan through MedicalFinancing.com which was suggested to us from our clinic. It’s kind of like getting a credit card specifically to pay for medical procedures. They cover a wide variety, but one of the things they cover is infertility. Can you believe it? Someone actually recognizes that infertility is expensive and no one can afford it! So, this is a loan that we will have to pay back with interest, but the monthly payments are MUCH easier to handle than paying for every single appointment the day I have them – MUCH easier! It sucks we had to take out a loan, but it’s good to know we don’t have to worry about costs for the time being.
Also, I mentioned that we got a grant through a program at work. This was also a blessing, as we had already gotten a very generous grant at the end of last year, which helped us to conceive. Unfortunately, we ran through all that money and lost our child. So, we are VERY grateful that they were willing to help us out a bit more.
And – I have some amazingly wonderful friends and family. At the beginning of this cycle, husband and I were pretty desperate. We basically did each appointment, one at a time, not knowing if we’d have to cancel the cycle because we ran out of money. We started with enough for one appointment and one box of meds. We got meds from the clinic luckily, so we were able to do appointment #2. Then realized if we stretched it, we could make #3. After that, they said we were ready for IUI. It went very fast, and luckily by that point we had found out we were approved for the loan. We barely squeaked by, but we made it. So, because we were unsure how things would go, we pretty much hit on all of our options from day 1 of the cycle. We contacted the financing company (which worked out), we contacted the company that gave us our previous loan to see if it were possible to get another smaller grant (which worked out) and we also sent out a letter to our families asking for any help they could offer. We both felt bad and awkward asking, but we were desperate and at the point where we thought this might be the last try until husband is done with school. I also got a phone call from my best friend one day asking if she could send out a call to some of our old friends for help. Again, I felt awkward doing that, but we were desperate. Well – that worked too! We are now at the point where if this cycle didn’t work, we have enough to try again, and maybe once more after that if we’re very careful! I just am stunned by the generosity and the luck that we seem to have fallen into.
If by some small miracle (fingers crossed!!!) this past IUI did work, then all the money we’ve received will just about pay off the loan that we took out. That is beyond amazing to me. Going from desperation to grace in about 2 weeks is beyond description. I often times don’t know how to even express the gratitude I feel towards everyone who has helped me out, my grant representative, my family, my friends, even the loan company!!! They have all helped the husband and I feel blessed, loved, and extremely lucky.
So yes, we had our #2 (well…really 3rd, but I’ve started over since the miscarriage counting the IUI’s) IUI procedure last Thursday and Friday. Right after the procedure on Friday the husband and I jumped in the car and headed out for our annual anniversary trip to McGregor, IA. We’ve gone there every year since our honey moon (so 5 years now) for camping, B&B at the Little Switzerland Inn, and hanging out with my sister and her family on there boat on the Mississippi. It was amazing to get away from everything here in Chicago for 4 days! No work, no puppies that pee on the floor and then I step in it, no thoughts of IF – just pure fun and vacation – and sleep!! I’ve been dog tired the past few weeks, trying to get money worked out, unpacking the new apartment, 2 am wake ups by the puppy, driving over an hour a day to get to and from work now, and just being generally cranky the last month (apologies to the husband for that one). I really needed this break, and it didn’t disappoint. I’ll try to post some pictures up at some point.
So, now we’re on the TWW for the blood test after IUI. We’ll see.
Also, is sad news, please keep Maybe Baby? in your thoughts. She and I have very similar stories and timelines with the loss of our babies this year. She had recently become pregnant again, quite unexpectly and on her own without medical intervention, but found out yesterday that she had lost the baby. It’s hard enough to loose one child to miscarriage; she is having to deal with the loss of two babies in the same year. I grieve with her. If you have a moment, head over to her blog and leave her a comment. One big thing that helps us IFers get through the tough times are words from those who have been there and really do understand the pain.
